Arizona State University’s Curtain of Distraction is the best thing to hit sports since beer at stadiums.

Playboy magazine has stripped nudity from its centerfolds. Now, men everywhere can truthfully say, they read it for the articles...

Why are bananas a perfect yellow in the store and, 30 minutes later, at home, start to brown like crazy?

Angela Merkel, Germany’s leader, says Britain could not survive if it left the EU. Let us see. Germany 0-2 in world wars, would keep  France, Italy and others while Britain could gravitate to Canada and the United States...

You do the monetary/military math - and memo Merkel while you’re at it.

Ronda Rousey admitted to thoughts of suicide after losing to Holly Holm. This is a life lesson. Do not allow one's career to morph into one's identity. We are more than our work.

Hillary, after getting whacked in New Hampshire, confessed in her concession speech, she’d fight for “real solutions” – as opposed to, one might surmise, the fake ones she had been offering to date.

Canadian Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau, didn’t mention Jews during his remarks on International Holocaust Memorial Day. He’s either frightfully forgetful or unbelievably dim.

Kim Kardashian is giving tips on how to ramp up that old cleavage and tamp down those old nipples. Now, can someone volunteer to teach Kim on how to get her head screwed on straight? We, the rest of the world, sick and tired of her comings and goings, and staying in the media spotlight for far too long, for fluff-stuff like I’ve just scribbled here, thank you. Tit for Tat.

Bernie, the babe of folks who want “free stuff” - said his New Hampshire victory would echo from Wall Street to Washington, from Maine to California.  He added his win proved “that the government of our great country belonged to all of the people... (Except for those folks who work on Wall Street or for big banks, and for Christians, and Pro-Lifers, and...)

Chelsea is the progeny of Bill and Hillary. Chelsea avers she quit the Baptist church at the age of 6 due to its stand on abortion. To Democratic Party fans this utterance is utterly credible and believable. That’s a story for another day. But what is also believable is that congenital lying can be passed down from generation to generation, at least so far as the Clinton clan goes.

Intentionality. That’s the awkward word that Democrat, Steve Phillips, used to describe black poverty. If this word, intentionality, is the best word he can put forward to describe the mostly abysmal progress African Americans have had, in getting their share of the American economic pie, (compared to Asians and Whites, say) no wonder blacks, as a whole – which is how Democrats view blacks – as a monolith – must be slightly disillusioned with their lot in life, and throwing their lot behind the Democratic party. But not to worry, if Bernie wins, everything will be free, and a free-for-all will be had by all.
​
 Or, if Trump wins, everything will be great again – no matter the cost...

This year there’s a good chance all the Canadian NHL teams may not make the playoffs. If you happen to visit Canada during playoff months April and May, speak softly and tread lightly - get out alive.

In the Republican presidential debate in Greenville, South Carolina, basically everybody called everybody else a liar. Most truthful political debate ever.

Democratic party nominee, Bernie Sanders, thinks college education should be free. Finally, a direct correlation between what a current degree is worth in currency...and what now, Bernie says presently. He says the central theme to America is “fairness.” The old dog is off his feed. What he says is complete garbage. The central theme in America, as written in the Declaration of Independence, is “Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness.” Whatever he paid for his education – it was too much.

Donald Trump doesn’t drink – and he’s still a wild man. Doesn’t that speak to the idea of maybe having a stiff one, once a day? And Donald, can you make your hair, if not “great again” at least not ridiculous?

Lotsa people are mad about Beyonce’s ode to the Black Panthers during the 2016 Super Bowl halftime show. It almost caused as much outrage as did the inadvertent showing of Janet Jackson’s nipple shield, for almost half a second! during her performance 12 years ago.

But things have madly-insanely loosened up in the USA this past decade. Nowadays, if you are a guy, a guy who says he’s a girl, it’s illegal for him to use the boy’s washroom. He’s gotta, by law, let lose in the women’s washroom. You go girl...boy oh boy!

Everybody knows about the refugee problem in Europe. But the biggest wave will be soon originating in the States. Think about it: if Hillary beats Bernie, where the heck will Bernie “feel the Bern” backers be safe? Canada, undoubtedly. So Canada, already admitting violence-hardened-and-scarred angry, Syrians - will soon have college safe-space-pampered micro-aggression-adverse namby-pamby wet-nurse kids wetting the bed to get in. As to which bunch will be more useless to the Great White North nation in advancing its interests in strength and sense – is open for debate. Nah, it’s the college kids. By far.

Ted Cruz pulled a boner. He yanked an advertisement that featured a soft-core porn actress. Looks bad on him. The campaign says she wasn’t bedded; no scratch that, VETTED, by the campaign staff. So Mr. Sanctimonious screws himself over. Feel the rash, feel the Bern!

Yeah, hold it. Isn’t Cruz supposed to be a Christian? Whatever happened to forgiveness? Or redemption? Didn’t she deserve praise for her conservative views despite her past?

Who has the worst haircut – Rubio, Jeb!, or Bernie? Note – what Trump has, whatever he has, it ain’t hair – which doesn’t preclude his fawning follicle fanatical followers from wishing to be reincarnated as The Donald’s fine-toothed comb...

Trump, talking to Fox News’s Sean Hannity, says he’s “...big with men...”
​
Best to leave on a high note!
 

Kim Kardashian may join Snapchat. Yeah...she so needs the publicity...

If Bernie Sanders is a sane guy with nutty ideas and Donald Trump is a nutty guy with sane ideas, hey, WTF gives with the US of A?!

Dallas Cowboys owner, Jerry Jones, asked to comment about the team’s 20-year Super Bowl appearance drought, is optimistic a corner can be turned. “There’s a pony in here somewhere.” With logic like this, it’s a wonder they’ve lost for so long...

Fake, phony, false: the real, true, actual qualities of Marco Rubio and Hillary Clinton. And while Bernie Sanders is as scripted as Rubio, Bernie comes off as believable while Rubio comes off as - that’s all he rote...

Barbara Bush, 90+ with her walker, trudging through the snow, stumping on the election trail for son Jeb in New Hampshire. What dedication. What love. What a dodge. For when push came to shove, the only reasons  she accompanied Jeb was because she heard Wild Bill Clinton was in the state - and in season...

Speaking of Barbara, she packed the house for her talk. Folks were rapt, stayed to the end, waiting to see how long it’d take before Jeb whimpered for the soother...

Suspending. That’s the new, wrongly used word when American presidential candidates, like Carly Fiorina, Rand Paul, Mike Huckabee, Rick Perry, and Martin O’Malley, drop out. Get it right. Try, TERMINATING...

WTF, or who the f—K thinks this? “I don’t believe leaders should prey upon the anxiety of the disenfranchised.” Canadian Liberal leader and Prime Minister Justin Trudeau uttered this at the Davos World Economic Forum.  As a stellar declaration, it’s not very sharp. What kind of person would kick a person, or persons, when they are down? Ok, liberals strive to keep people down, but come on. Surely he could have hidden this Freudian slip.

But if this statement of Trudeau’s is the best we citizens can hope for from today’s leadership...we are so sunk. How low can we go? Sky high.

Macdonald’s kale salad has more calories than a DOUBLE BIG MAC. While the head wants kale, the soul wants hamburgers, so feed that soul.

Back to Justin. In Davos he touted “diversity” as indispensible. New ideas, experimentation apparently come if we mix all the world’s nations into a big room. Oh joy, after a beer and pizza party, wake up to the United Nations in your den.

Justin also stresses that the future of the Canadian economy lies with the Syrian refugees he personally welcomed to Toronto. So, before the influx of the Muslim Shias and Sunnis of various tribes, of virulent animosities, of vacant homes, and yes, of vicious terroristic elements - Canada’s economic performances, as a G7 member at that, have been found wanting by the new Prime Minister.  Bedraggled newcomers are the key to Canada’s effective participation and performance in the Davos proclaimed Fourth Industrial Revolution.
​
Lastly, the Toronto Maple Leafs are having their 100th anniversary next year. But the NHL decided to hold the All Star game in LA - next year - you know, the place where the STARS are. The Leafs say they are being disrespected. But the NHL, respectfully, replied, get a hockey team, give us a call. 

A Chicago councilman was elected despite murder and drug charges...In other words, just your typical Illinois politician and typical typecast election.

British Labour Party’s, John McDonnell, foresees a borderless world in this century.  Makes sense, for this party, led by lunatic Jeremy Corbyn, is breaking all barriers in stupidity...

While a “Strategic Thinker” is a Bull Shitter, and an “Entrepreneur” is a Scrounger, countries, worldwide, war against weather – and there’s no punch line for this “Climate Change” sad-sack fact.

A Minnesota USA girls’ basketball team has been banned for being too good. No longer can the world cry about USA imperialism - if this cowering, surrendering, handwringing mentality keeps up...

An accused ISIS recruiter lives – works – academically in the USA. Oh, he’s a university professor? At Kent State? Oh, no news here. Radicals take no sabbaticals when it comes to corralling scholastic debate and pumping the pulse, cheer-leading, the Land of the Brave college kids, to hate, denigrate, and desecrate all that was, is, great about the States.

Kathleen Wynn, premier of the province of Ontario, Canada – is miffed because two Ontario colleges teaching in Saudi Arabia don’t allow females to attend classes with males. She says this has “got to change. So now, more than likely, males won’t be allowed to attend either.

Germany’s leader, Anna Merkel, admits 600,000 of the 1.1 million migrants in Germany are unaccounted for. Since when did Germany become inefficient? Oh, we’re talking government(s)...

Secretary of State John Kerry says some of the 100+ billions that Iran got will go to terrorism. Democratic Party supporters breathed a huge sigh of relief, assured the money didn't end up in Republican boosters’ hands...

Feel the Bern. Bernie Sanders, the shrill non-Hill-Bill, has a political ad out which, after about eight seconds (once the requisite shots of happy people of various hues have been captured) highlights sheep and compost, maybe manure. Manure – politics personified.  

Canadian Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau, downplayed, in the Davos, Switzerland World Economic Forum, his country’s natural resources (wood, minerals, oil, gas, wheat, etc.)  and played up, instead, its resourcefulness. Catchy word twist, that.  What does resourcefulness actually mean? It’s now a buzzword, a euphemistic-one-word possibly-pithy point that, one supposes, played big in junior Air-Hair-Head Trudeau’s noggin before he laid it on his listeners. But not before muffing, 40 seconds into his speech, the syllabic pronunciation for contemplate...

But actually, if anybody knows what resourceful is - and means - it is he. The glib, non-stop-shutter-bug-shoot-me-selfie...resourcefully resourced being a son, via a drilled deep probe, of daddy - former Prime Minister, Pierre Elliot Trudeau.  And the boy toy, much as he’d like to forgo and forget that hereditary familial-fossil fuel fact, has decided to punish producing, profitable, resource based provinces, Saskatchewan and Alberta, the ones that pay for the country - and that’s that.
​
Washington, DC, the capitol of America was waylaid by an inch of snow. The mayor apologized on TV. This mess is a specific testament, to general governmental uselessness.