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Head Case Cyclists

3/28/2015

Houston, we have a problem. Cyclists are crashing their bicycles as they can’t pedal very well. And it’s not just kids: adults really stink at cycling. I was once a lousy cyclist too, but luckily my ten-speed was swiped when I was sixteen, so I’ve been safe ever since. But for the rest of the hapless who willingly ride about cities, fortunately hope is here.

Meet Neurosurgeon Charles Tator.

He’s determined to ease our bicycling plight. He created a foundation called ThinkFirst, whose goal is to promote brain injury prevention.

If we may take a step back for a moment and look at the macro picture and put aside the worrisome statistics of cyclists, how can any of us be optimistic about the human condition if a promotion campaign is needed to sway us from pursuing brain injury? Do we feeble-headed types need cajoling to remain fence sitters and not go pell-mell, head over heels, in a rush to join those others who willingly desire brain bashing-bamming injuries? Surely, some must think that suffering a brain injury - perhaps may not be the way to go.

Apart from the macro picture problems, Doctor Tator and other brain health experts see roadblocks in the particulars. For example, they worry legislated bicycle helmet laws will turn folks off from bicycling. (Of course this doesn’t preclude these people from walking, or attending HIIT classes, to get their health fix in, so who really cares - other than the tree cuddlers - if more or less people cycle or not?) Head protection makes sense, Taylor posits, but the worry is that grownups will refuse the helmet fearing helmet hair. Really. No kidding.

Here’s what ThinkFirst, now part of Parachute – a Canadian, national, organization “dedicated to preventing injury and saving lives” says: “Saving your brain from serious injury is always in style!”

Nevertheless, many grownups feel that the bubble-head appearance, courtesy of these plastic helmets, adds to the nerdish-nebbish quotient. Furthermore, "the image that they are uncomfortable and ugly" is a turn off. Huh? Is uncomfortable an image? Look it - anyone who perseveres with cycling and its offering of rock hard pointed, genital crushing seats, is masochistic; the sappy look is incidental, or should be. This is a classic case of butt-headed thinking...

Focus not on vanity, but force. Know the rules of the road and know the size of sedans and semis. Those who endeavor with cycling should not worry of how they’ll “come off” with the helmeted look: they should worry how they’ll come off with the head-smashed look, given some motorists could barely give a flying f - - - about two wheelers. Motorists may be wrong and imbecilic on the road, but they are the gun, not the knife, in this fight for road stripe space. Helmet hair is the least of one’s worries…

To the libertarian, loather of governments, maverick, dickweed, or freedom-from-any-restriction fighter - the fact that laws order them to wear helmets makes their fists’ clench, blood boil, and eyes bulge. They’ll tell you that when they were kids they did not have to wear a helmet. The smart ass will reply “And look how you turned out, you good-for-nothing waste of space.”

But they do have a point. The vast majority that free wheeled it around town, hair flying with the wind, suffered no debilitating injuries, even riding with no hands or practicing their wheelies for hours on end. Most have wiped out more than a few times, gone head first over those same handlebars, smashed over curbs, or hit elementary school walls, and lived to tell the tale, speaking in nearly complete sentences and everything. Why should they now, as a grown up, have their rights curtailed by some over-caring-hand-wringing-wet-noodle-killjoy bureaucrat helmet peddle-pedal-pusher?

Helmet supporters would counter:

“Fine. Wear nothing. But just remember to wear your wallet – because only you should pay for your medical bills to take your squashed head and make it back into the pumpkin head it was. My health-tax dollars should not support your idiocy. Ok with that, Mister Independence?”

Still waiting for an answer on that one.

If our pro-or-con helmet complainer lives in Canada, they’ll be glad to know that bike helmet laws vary from province to province to territory. As of 2013 only British Columbia, New Brunswick, and Nova Scotia made it mandatory for all cyclists to wear helmets. In places like the Northwest Territories – there are no laws on this. (One supposes, with Grizzly and Polar bears, Lynx, Wolves, and Wolverines about - ready to devour any citizens from inside to out - that there are bigger things to worry about than whether a cycling citizen, kooky enough to pedal in those wild and wooly outdoors, has their dough-head sheathed in plastic protection.)

Similarly, if our carper lives in the USA, they’ll be glad to know there is no federal law, only state laws or local ordinances...

So, to helmet

or

not to helmet?

With crummy cyclists and mental motorists, and concerned - and unconcerned - governments, it is buyer-bike-helmet beware. Either way, either choice, will bring derision and ridicule from the 75% that oppose your pick. That percentage makes no sense – but makes more sense than the whole helmet-wear hooferaw.

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Luke Kennard Beats LeBron James!

3/20/2015

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Who knew a white string bean could beat a black piece of granite? Franklin High School’s Luke Kennard bested LeBron James’ Ohio High School scoring record. With 44 points in a recent game, the blond-haired Kennard now has 2,652 points. LeBron says he’s happy for him. Duke University has to be happy, that’s where Kennard’s heading next. And if he bombs in basketball, well, there’s always football. He was a star QB on his high school team and had scholarship offers for the gridiron as well.

Master Kennard is a throwback. Heck, his school’s a throwback. It’s 94.5% white. That was possible in the 1950’s but now? Is that even allowed? Maybe it is because the institution, back in 2013, was deemed a “School of Promise” whatever that means. Anyway – that’s not important. What is important is to gauge just how good Kennard really is. Is he a flash in the pan or the real deal?

Maybe the real-deal meal - but. Future150 media covers high school basketball. The Shooting Guard is graded with plusses in 14 categories with “Needs to Improve” in 5. Let’s look at the weaknesses. Apparently his athleticism, lateral quickness, on-ball defense, upper body strength, and elite ball-handling skills need work. Let’s ignore upper body strength – that’ll come with age and weight training. But the lack of athleticism, though not enough to prevent him from scoring 59 points in one game, or averaging 39.1 points per game, is a flag. The NBA is filled with quirky personalities and some selfishness amongst stars and journeymen, but to a man, 95% of these guys ARE athletic. Can speed and agility be taught? Hmmm. Reps will help, but some folks are quick innately, while others, no matter the effort in drills to improve same, will improve a bit, not a lot. Nevertheless, despite playing against high school competition - competition that will be as spotty as some of the kids’ complexions, the big guy’s head for the game and basic fundamentals have him ranked 26th overall, and 7th for his position, nationally.

Yet, this white guy can jump: the 6’5” fellow can dunk. And, truthfully, he looks plenty quick enough, judging from the video highlight reels. He’s also a true teammate, being tied for second in assists in the Southwestern Buckeye League at 5.5 per game. He has been named, for the second-year straight, the Ohio Boys Basketball Player of the Year.

Now, once he graduates from the King James Shooting Stars, a Blue Devil he will be, coached by Mike Krzyzewski. For now, he’s the hero of the town of Franklin, named after Benjamin Franklin, whose motto is: “Inventing Our Future.”

11,000 souls scurry about doing just that (but, please, scurry up the initiative to update the town website with photos that aren’t as dull as dishwater. Thank you.) To a one, they’ll tell you that Luke Kennard is a nice guy, polite, and is no big-ego-head-case blowhard. Krzyzewski says: “He’s very level-headed…”

If the kid goes on to goodness if not greatness, goodness gracious, he’ll own this town. Its luminaries are few and not too stellar in the stars’ sweepstakes. Do you know Bob Timberlake? He finished fourth in voting for the Heisman Trophy

– in 1964.

How about Frank Lickliter? He’s a pro golfer with two PGA wins. So the door’s wide open for Luke to get the keys to the city one day. But presently, and in the near future, one intangible will be how he handles adversity. At university all the competition will be better. Will he fold like a cheap tent or the Toronto Maple Leafs at the first sign of adversity? Probably not, but he’ll have to wrestle with a drop-off in points scored and time played.

It should be noted that Jon Diebler (3,208), the top scorer in Ohio high school basketball, has had a rather peripatetic career since graduating from Ohio State. He’s played in Greece and Turkey, but has hopes to play in the NBA - where his travels, so far, have been of the paperwork-legal variety. First he was a Portland Trail Blazer, then he became a Houston Rocket. Perhaps Kennard will follow a more traditional route to playing time and stardom in the NBA…

But for this kid, that’s miles down the road. Coming up, however, is his participation in the 2015 Macdonald’s All-American game on April 1st. Only 24 high school kids made this cut! Kennard’s on the East Team. He can now look back, pat himself on the back, and thank himself for that diligence of duty he’s displayed, what with his practicing hoops since grade seven.

Who have been other great high school stars? Recognize these names? Jonathan Wasserman of Bleacher Report compiled his ten best: First went to Lew Alcindor (Kareem Abdul-Jabbar). LeBron came in second. As for now, believe it or not, the basketball hot bed of Melbourne, Australia sports a guy named Ben Simmons. He’s a power forward and he’s ranked the top high schooler by ESPN. Luke is ranked 23rd. Wonder how his 17,000+ Twitter followers feel about that.

If Luke has a college career that even approaches – halfway in rank - to Christian Laettner’s at Duke, Coach K will be singing we’re in the money… But even now, Kennard is a ka-ching machine for his high school’s athletic department. Ticket sales have jumped 82% since 2009, largely thanks Kennard.

And soon to Duke will go cool-hand Luke. .

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Masters 2015 - Bubba Watson's threesome?

3/12/2015

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Can leftie Bubba Watson “Long Ball” win this most hallowed Major for the 3rd time? What’s to stop him other than himself, for this course sets up well for lefties: witness the wins of Phil Mickelson and Mike Weir.

Who will be Bubba’s biggest threat? Rory McIlroy? Maybe not, His only success at Doral - was tossing his three-iron, a good 25 yard testy, tense heave, at that - into the drink. He’s not happy with his play. Maaaybe Mickelson, who is ranked 21st. Dustin Johnson, back from his magical-mystery leave – won Doral. (Bubba finished 3rd. On a course he “can’t stand.”) Ricky Fowler. Fowler had incredible results in last year’s four majors, tying for: fifth at the Masters; second at the US Open; second at the British Open; third at the PGA. Forget Tiger, he’s gonzo for now.

Why does Augusta National so suit golfing southpaws? Because lefties who can fade the ball benefit from the layout. For the right-handed golfer, a draw must be played. And a draw is harder to execute than a fade. Or so say the experts, most of us can’t hit anything but an accidental slice, hook, fade or draw. Anyway...

Now let’s focus on Bubba. He’s currently ranked no. 2, no. 1 being Rory.

It should be emphasized: Bubba Watson is singularly spectacular in bringing out scintillating shots. He’s probably the best artiste of the one-of-a-kind shot since maestro Seve Ballesteros was orchestrating himself around courses, weaving his magic golf club wands with hocus pocus locus focus.

Who can forget Bubba’s lofted club snap-hook from the trees on the 10th at the 2012 Masters or his 305 yard “carved – sliced” drive from the fairway, on a downhill lie at that, at the 18th hole in the 2011 Hyundai Tournament of Champions at Kapalua that rolled feet from the pin – and wowed Sir Nick Faldo – a man not easily wowed?

It should be further emphasized: Watson is singularly irregular in bringing out a swing style that varies from swing to swing and he’s consistently inconsistent as to where he’ll finish up on his follow through.

Sometimes, like Arnold Palmer, he’ll swing so hard he almost comes out of his shoes. Amazingly he’s never taken a golf lesson, except once from his Dad, (though he’s proud to tell kids, he did go back and get his college degree.)

He’s the antithesis of Woods who has studied his swing up the yin yang. Of course, Woods is only second to Nicklaus in majors, with 14, so perhaps Tiger’s methods, until this past year or so, weren’t so crazy – but it’s hard to see the free-wheeling golf-boy-band singing Watson adhering to such a strict, solemn, swing regimen.

TrackMan Pro has no place in his repertoire. For all we know, he may think it’s a video game.

Watson may be a bit loosey goosey with the swing, but he’s impeccably a god-fearing (respecting) man. He gives to charities. He’s gone back to schools and thanked his teachers for helping him. He’s a family man.

What makes him such a study is that he’s impeccably incorrigible too. He can make an off-the-wall Bubba Clause Christmas rap video and create a likeable take off the t-shirt, after sinking a 50 yard putt, video. He’s got a glint in his eye that spells mischievousness.

But his personas mesh or mash – when he lets loose with his pink Ping. His clubhead speed has reached 128 mph. For us average hackers, we’re lucky to hit 90 mph. He describes his swing as having a “wide arc.” It’s like Noah’s ark, animalistic and like Noah’s voyage one never knows what kinds of rough he may venture into. But when he does hit the green, usually in two shots even for par-5 holes, he can putt with consummate consistency. At one time, as Brendan Porath, editor of SB Nation points out, Watson once went 291 consecutive, competitive holes without a 3 putt.

That’s amazing. And daunting for those who might think he only has the long, not the long and short of it, in this game that others call golf.

What does Bubba call golf? A calling? A mission? A quest to convert those, who play conventionally in shots and strategy, into a Watson wannabe? Or, a crying game?

For what it’s worth he readily admits he cries a lot. (He says he gets it from his dad. He says his dad acted tough but was a bit “wimpy.”) But Bubba can barb with the best of them, too. Before his first Masters win, when he and Tiger would do practice rounds, Bubba would tease Tiger (paraphrasing):

Man, you wish you could hit that far don’t you

And Tiger would claw back:

The only W you’ll ever have is in your last name.

With Bubba having 7 PGA tour victories now, Tiger’s gonna need a new riposte.

And top teacher Billy Harmon describes Watson (kindly) as “...a freak. I think he’s the most natural golfer that I’ve ever seen...” He adds “You can’t teach talent, but you can mess it up.” Perhaps Bubba was aware of this somehow – and perhaps that is why he never had a lesson, was never concerned with how his swing looked, was never concerned with what others thought of his club selection, or resultant shot appearance...

Every golfer, from amateur to ace, craves distance. Bubba has theories on distance. He talks of extension on the backswing, and follow through, but he also adds a bit of homespun common sense (but applying that common- sense advice to most weekend golfer’s games is TOTALLY difficult to do, successfully) and that is

swing hard.

Bubba makes it look easy. And now his threesie 2015 Masters awaits…

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Sweater Tossing - Fans bossing!

3/5/2015

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Say the professional team of your choice stinks the house out. Repeatedly. Season after season. Should you as a fan toss the team sweater on the ice, field, diamond, or court in a show of displeasure? Amazingly some people think you should not.

Boy, are they sad-sack fans.

They’ll tell you as a fan you must support the team. That the sweater you just hurled costs a ton of money. They’re painfully right about the latter, but in a way it helps bolster the argument of sweater tossers. The fact that your team is rotten and has the temerity to charge you an arm and a leg to wear their colors is the real, much larger, disgusting display.

But their bigger emotional point, of being a fan, basically through thick and thin, wherein you must support the team at (no pun intended) all costs – is loopy. Why should you root for a team that doesn’t entertain at best or even try hard at worst? Where does it say in the sports ticket of life that if you don’t tickle my fancy I have to put up with this stuff? Why shouldn’t one have the right to let the “old side” know, as dramatically and graphically as possible, that the effort and performance they provide is rancid to the core?

Now the 100% all-in fans will counter – well just don’t go to the games. They have a point. The ultimate best weapon to show one’s anger would be to not spend one penny on the purported professional team you’d like to love, warts, acne and all.

But most fans, it seems, are like abused spouses: they can’t leave for reasons only Shrinks would understand.

So, agreeing that fans can’t stay away, and assuming that boos and catcalls have had no effect – what’s a long-suffering supporter to do?

Toss the sweater.

Toronto, Canada knows all about this. There, they have a ersatz-professional hockey team called the Toronto Maple Leafs with the highest ticket resale prices - $373.50 – in the 30 team NHL. They are a completely bush-league-bass-ackwards-amateur-gong-ghoulish horror show whose best efforts are given during platitudes after play. In Jan. and Feb. of 2015 the team won TWO games out of NINETEEN! Along the way they set franchise records for most losses in a row. (The franchise was founded in 1917.) They’ll miss the playoffs again – which actually is a bright light in a sea of darkness because should they have squeaked into the first round of the Stanley Cup post season wars, they’d have been absolutely murdelized and blown out – because in these playoffs – teams step up, find another level, and flatten the fakers.

Now, remember, Toronto is a town that doesn’t embarrass easily. Not only have they put up with the Maple LAFFS for decades of decrepitude, they have a hard core 30% of the town called “Ford Nation” that loves that 300-pounds-of-fun, classless, cutie-pie guy, ex-Mayor Rob Ford.

So you can’t say Torontonians haven’t been good sports. But they’re worn out. They’re sick of sick play.

Therefore this season, they’ve engaged in sweater tossing – and they started in game 2 in a loss to Pittsburgh because they were still steaming from the previous season’s rank futility.

And not one fan booed after the sweater hit the ice. In fact, there were a couple of cheery whistles!

The team bans these flinging folks from the confines of the Air Canada Centre for ALL events for the rest of the season. Hardly tough medicine: once these fans are off that bad-booze of loser-leaf-hockey they’re on their way to recovery. They can even be charged by the police for public mischief and get jail time. Christy Clark, premier of BC, has it about right, tweeting: “...Most Canadians would rather be arrested than put on that jersey.”

Leaf players, aggravatingly, as mentioned, platitude well and swell, talking of “moral victories”, when they lose a close one; of “character” when they get blown out in the first period only to come back within a goal or so by the time the third rolls around; of “looking in the mirror” after yet another lackluster effort and a limp-leg loss.

Because the NHL can’t institute a Broadway theater routine – where if the show sucks, the show shutters after a week, at least throw the fans a bone and let them toss a sweater.

Contras will say the players might get injured by inadvertently skating over a sweater unseen, and fall.

This is true. Don’t have an answer for that one, other than to say that players playing “soft”, going through the motions, at ¾ speeds, are WAY likelier to get injured from a hard-charging opponent than they are from said sweater. (Funnily, enough contras don’t complain so much when hats are tossed on the ice after a player scores a hat-trick, and the players have to make it back to the bench.)

So - sweater tossers – make sure you toss the jersey during a stoppage in play...

Leaf players are pissed at the tossings. (They also played like they’re pissed, from booze.) They say that sweater tossing shows no respect for the uniform – and here, they are absolutely bang on.

(Apparently, there’s a tradition throughout the NHL in dressing rooms that a sweater never touches a floor.)

That’s so nice.

Back to the ice. It’s merely the fans logically following in the players’ skate steps. The players show no respect for the uniform - on the ice WHERE IT COUNTS - with their lousy play – so the sweater heavers are simply following suit. Players also claim it insults the Leaf traditions – but that institution’s traditions are tawdry, tired. They haven’t won a Stanley Cup since 1967,

When they had a measly five other teams to contend with. In 2014 ESPN ranked them LAST for professional sporting organizations in North America. 122 out of 122.

Game over. Sweater tossers one and won – Leafs, and other loserish teams, 0 and none.

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Head Case Cyclists

Luke Kennard Beats LeBron James!

Masters 2015 - Bubba Watson's threesome?

Sweater Tossing - Fans bossing!

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