​Laurel Hubbard had an unfair advantage because she used to be known as Gavin. It may seem crazy to talk of fairness and sports when the latter takes on a win at nearly all costs mantra, but when boys become girls and compete in sports with girls, who were born girls, is it fair? We’re obviously talking transgendered athletes.

A recent case is of the New Zealand weightlifter, Laurel Hubbard, who bested the second place finisher, in the clean and jerk, by 19 kg (41 pounds.) Zounds. How’d she do that at the Australian International weightlifting event? Could it be due to natural ability, better technical skills, superior coaching, and great dedication? Probably all these were factors but could the biggest factor be that Laurel used to be a man, Gavin – who competed in weightlifting prior to becoming Laurel in his/her/their mid-thirties? Men, generally, have more muscle mass and lung capacity, to name but two athletic advantages.

Look, it’s not the first time observers have been accused of being cold-hearted or hard headed. Remember Tom Dempsey, field goal kicker for the Saints? When he kicked a 63-yarder many felt his right-foot boot gave him an unfair advantage; it had a flat, larger surface. True, he only wore this one-of-a-kind boot because he had no toes on that foot, but still, even a handicap turning out to be a perceived advantage, is fodder for analysis and angst. So boys transitioning to girls, who then participate in a sport they played as the prior gender, are going to be rightfully submitted to Monday morning arm chair quarterbacking as well.

Gotta deadname for a minute. Don’t know what deadnaming is? Well, it’s almost a crime according to politically correct types. And I’m about to commit it by referring to the long gone, Bruce Jenner, 1976 Olympics gold medal winner in the decathlete. Now, Bruce (oops I did it again) is now Caitlyn – because she’s a she who used to be a he. NEVER say Bruce when referring to Caitlyn.

Anyway, – ok, if Caitlyn was as good as she was when she was a he, the best in the world back in ’76 – what’s she going to do competing against girls in any of these ten disciplines? She’d murdelized them, especially so because ladies only compete in the 7-event Heptathlon...but you get the point...

Gender identity is all the rage right now. It’s a target from all sides of the political spectrum. Sports aren’t immune – but there are 2 possible solutions to the controversy of having boys now girls, matching up and beating the pants off girls, who were originally girls. The first answer, speaking of target – is to follow the retailer Target’s approach to gender: let any gender identity use any facility, and participate in any forum, at any time. Thus boys, girls, and transgender athletes would compete against each other at any time. That way, the possible advantages that transgender boys to girls would be negated, because the boys-remaining-boys would, in many sports, have it over the transgendered. True, the girls would still be getting screwed over, but one can’t have everything – at least with this approach.

The second approach would ensure that no gender has an advantage over another. Let’s call it the Facebook approach. That social media platform, in the UK, lists 71 genders. Instead of lumping all genders together like Target does, it separates them. So! Let’s have sports competitions carefully separated and segregated by gender! True, it will be a logistical, bureaucratic, and financial nightmare, but it is the only way to make sure no gender is cheated out of their just desserts.

Actually the second approach, in its complexities, may not be that tough a row to hoe. Consider how far science and understanding have come in determining who is a man, or a woman, or a somewhat in betweener. And this relates to Laurel Hubbard and others who have transitioned. She can compete in the Olympics.

Furthermore, and this relates to some who are transitioning - but have not yet had body parts changed “sex reassignment surgery” - The International Olympic Committee has weighed in on matters-trans and has decided that the best way to determine whether he is a he, or a she, or she is a she, or a he – is NOT to sneak a peek under their underwear-unmentionables at body parts, but is, rather, to conduct hormonal tests to determine if requisite minimums or maximums of this or that hormone make one a guy, gal, or trans. (Best to stick with 3 gender types rather than delve into another 68 or so, huh?)

Because the IOC is a busy-body bureaucratic organization run by cads in the worse sense of the word, and because gender matters are as complicated as all of this world, the language they use is inscrutable to the layman, epitomized by this summarial declaration of the: "Consensus Meeting on Sex Reassignment and Hyperandrogenism" - so we will have to trust this group with the hugest leap of faith ever known to sport or mankind, in figuring that they know what they are doing.

.6% or 1.4 million. These are the estimated percentage and count of trans adult people in America. For simplicity’ sake, assume the percentage holds for the world at large. Given that the 1.4 million, according to the New York Times, is quite a bit bigger than previously thought, it’s safe to say that more MTF athletes will be faced with accusations of new medically manufactured athletic advantages. For FTM athletes: less so.

Si Woo Kim at work is calm, cool, collected, and intermittently shockingly successful. Good for him. Perhaps the military of South Korea, who has rights to his life, will make best use of this soon-to-be trooper.

Then again, can’t they make an exception and grant the kid an exemption from military service? The guy stunned the world and himself, being a 400-1 bet going in, when he became the youngest player EVER to win the Players Championship. Or, listen, if he must serve, make sure he’s not on the front lines, the 160 MILE LONG DMZ, where kooky North Korea and its leader, even kookier Kim Jong-un, might serve up a brand spanking new Hwasong-12 intermediate-range ballistic missile, or some such thing. Maybe make golfer-Kim a killer-sniper; he can certainly place his shots.

Alas, there’s no way around it: Si Woo has to serve two years in the ROK Armed Forces, assuming he doesn’t renounce his citizenship and dodge the draft. Compatriot Sang-Moon Bae found out, through the court of law, there’s no way to avoid conscription in that country. (If Si Woo, was an Olympic medal winner, or a gold medal winner from the Asian Games, or a geezer older than 35, he’d get a pass – but as a young burgeoning star winner on the PGA, no dice.)

Amazing as his win was, being just 21 years of age, let’s remember that he and other South Korean men, while notable and noteworthy, must take a back seat to the front-driver domination of South Korean women on the LPGA. Recall that Lydia Ko won her first professional golf tournament, the New South Wales Open, at 14.

This is not a misprint. 14.  Nor is it an error to point out that the women of South Korean heritage have been at the top of the money list(s) and rankings for years, now. OK, so why do these gals ace the game of golf? And does Si Woo Kim have it in him to improve, and become an elite pro on the PGA to perhaps equal these women in stature back home?

The magic female formula, written by R.G., in the Economist, distills the awesome anomaly of top golfers worldwide being invariably Korean to: heavy parental discipline, dished out especially by the Dad’s; the competitiveness of Korean society as a whole; the prevalence of players’ hitting millions of balls in driving ranges, what with space at a minimum and golf course availability at a premium; repetition as the best means to become the best; and a seemingly inherent gene of Koreans to follow the lead - trends: once Se-Ri Pak led the pack, everybody and their sister picked up a stick. And Ko sticks with her sticks, putting in between 30 to 50 hours per week working on her game.

Back to the boys. Alex Myers of Golf Digest, take a bow. Back in January of 2016 you wrote of the potential of Si Woo. And American academic, and Director of the Asia Institute, Emanuel Pastreich, who specializes on Korean studies, please continue pontificating on why a forced stint in the military, rather than being a drag, is, in fact, a boon. There, as exemplified by the 3rd Engineer Brigade, the moral of the story is: no blame, no complaining, and be of an optimistic attitude. Also, live clean in manners and in habits. Paging John Daly...

Given that Si Woo appears to be in somewhat good health, chances are he’ll be put into Active Duty Service as opposed to Public Service. He’ll face five weeks of basic training, for starters. True, he has had back and wrist problems – at 21, that is SO NOT a good sign, and a physical will reveal the extent of those pains. (He just withdrew from the Byron Nelson on account of his wonky back.) Let’s hope he isn’t subjected to bullying or hazing, not from Byron Nelson fanatical fans, but from fellow soldiers culturally and historically imbued in the two year rite of passage in matters military. The military pay’s not great – it sucks, truly, under $200 USD, monthly – and way under the country’s minimum wage for civilians – you know, the folks not putting their lives in their hands each and every day. He’ll have to get his head shaved. He’d better carefully shuffle and hide his $1,890,000 won at the Players from his army mates in his duffle. Some of his more intimate, personal effects will be put in a box. The parents will get this keepsake in case the worse should occur with death while serving...

One keepsake that puts Kim ahead of the pack is the fact that he earned his PGA Tour Card when he was just 17.  One keepsake we, watching highlights of the Players - “the Fifth Major” - was noting how smooth, controlled, and slow his swing was. While a slow swing contravenes the idea that only a fast swing can bring the utmost power to one’s game, his tempo works wonders for him.
But will a two-year hiatus from his profession cause irreparable damage to his game? He’s done himself one huge solid in winning the Players – as he now has a five year exemption on the tour – so that gives him three years to get the kinks out of a rusty golf game once he leaves the military.

Another advantage of military service is that this young fellow’s idle time will not be replete with drugs, thieving, lollygagging, or with other loser-like thuggerish acts. A youngster’s measure of possible success, remember, isn’t simply how he or she performs at work, but is how he or she performs during times of leisure. Si Woo Kim, in his win at TPC Sawgrass, had that look of discipline – and had way more than a veneer of self awareness and wherewithal to beat back, not only faltering veterans on Sunday, but to blow away, by any standard, no pun intended, par-for-the-course acts of self destruction that often arise in the mid twenties, or in the case of J.B. Holmes’s (84) and Kyle Stanley’s (75) in their mid thirties to late twenties.
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Mid twenties to be for Si Woo? This kid could be a super shooter forever.

​Way to go, John Daly. With your latest golf victory you’ve proven that a serious serial smoker, boozing passer-outer at Hooters, junk food jonser, zooming through multiple red lights in-a-row driver, and and a fanatic despiser of fitness - can reach the top.

You’re a role model to zillions.

In winning the Insperity Invitational on the Champions Tour you’ve inspired millions, ok, thousands, ok hundreds, ok tens of folks to consider watching your career progress, despite you wearing lewd, crude, and goodness gracious god-awful-retina-razing outlandish golf slacks.

Clearly a man-god surpassing mortal men was proven when, on Saturday in August of 2015, one of your lungs collapsed, you were sped to the hospital, but the next day, like a Phoenix, you returned to play out the tournament in Canton, Miss.  

And clearly a Zeus are you – who else has had as many scintillating sexual escapades, including having four wives – and is considering marrying yet again? And clearly, too, you are a criminal-cad for assaulting wife number 2, Bettye Fulford.

Basically John’s a portly huffing and puffing, 40 butts per day, 50-year old senior, who, with his first win, 14-under, on the seniors’ tour, has awoken legions to that tour’s existence and re-awoken a horde of fans to his legendary high-wire act of cavorting and careening through life. Fellow professional friends of his were so pleased for him they showered the big man in champagne after being the best on The Woodlands, in Texas.

He’s come a long way - and yet has come full circle. Back in 1978, as a 12-year old, he won the Lake of the Woods Golf Course Men’s championship prompting that course to ban kids from entering that adult contest ever again.
​
Not sure if he needs the $322,500 cheque from his latest heroics but let’s assume he does. John admits he still gambles. He loves the slots. He’s even played a slot machine which was $5,000 for each pull. (John says he lost $600,000 in that session.) That’s his gambling vice of choice, though blackjack comes into play. While Vegas may be the destination for most, John says he’s not fussy: he’ll gamble anywhere...He might not be losing hundreds of thousands per year, but if he’s still rolling the dice as it were, he’s got to be losing a fairly pretty penny, though he says he won 1.8 million at Bally’s - in one day - a few years back.

So how did Daly fight the long odds against his winning again? Well, none other than Tiger Woods gives us the scoop. “Long John”, it turns out, was - is - awash in raw, natural talent proven by winning his first Major, the US PGA, in his first try.

Folks adore the “Wild Thing” because of his vulnerabilities and frank willingness to confess and somewhat confront his addictions. They also adore his counter-intuitive thoughts, like this beauty, expressed in an interview with Howard Stern a couple of years back: practicing causes imperfection when I do it...I suck when I practice.

He’s been fighting the practicing of golf thing since he was around 4-years old. He admits, like Bubba Watson, that he’s his own teacher – save for studying Jack Nicklaus golfing tip cartoons. The “Lion” says his toddler, a two and a half year old son back in 2015, has hit more practice golf balls in his life than Dad has in his. Gotta, sorta, love this guy, huh? John also jokes “Caffeine and nicotine, to me, equal protein.”

More insights in the Stern interview ensued. Talking about one of his wives, John came up with this gem: “We love each other just a little bit more than we hate each other...” His second wife lied about her age – understating it by 10 years. He says that cocaine and cigarettes are the two hardest things to quit. He asked Howard Stern if he could smoke during their interview. Howard also offered him a beer, John didn’t say no...He was given a Heineken Light, took a big slug, and announced “this isn’t bad.” He says 18 shots of scotch ended up being the impetus behind the invention of 18 holes of golf.

And who else can sink a 10 footer curving putt with a cigarette hanging from his mouth?

And who else may be as smart as Daly, if his dad is any indication? (Smartness isn’t the same thing as common sense, obviously.) One source writes his father, Jim, built and repaired nuclear power facilities.
​
Yet as we marvel at John’s highs and lows - heck he’s had more ups and downs than an Xpogo stunt team, has been his own worst enemy, seems consumed by his bad lifestyle habits, and apparently appears to be a train wreck just waiting to happen - does demonstrate in spades - that these traits are SO NOT marvelous - if we, looking for guidance, are wishing to emulate star-shown characteristics. But now he has kids, and, as we age, we tend to moderate our lifestyles – so maybe these two factors, plus his latest win, can put John in a sturdier station of life leading to a somewhat normal, sane...semblance of...uh, something or other.

It’s kinda fun and a total eye-opener to read and see of John’s over-the-top idiosyncrasies, proclivities, and inanities. Even his mixed messages real, and imagined, are pretty amusing. He has been commercially associated with both TrimSpa and Dunkin’ Donuts and has ventured that such a contradiction isn’t nearly so profound as his proffered idea of publicizing AA on one hand, and Miller Lite on the other.

And we can howl in laughter at this pearl. Asked about where he finds his wives and women, he ripostes he didn’t find his wives in church. Gotta say again - gotta - sorta - love this guy. Sure hope he can keep it sort of together, maybe to write another book as a continuance to the 2007 tome titled:

My Life in and out of the Rough: The Truth Behind All That Bull**** You Think You Know About Me.
​
We’d sure like to find out in new, pen-to-paper pages, what else this larger-than-life fellow could prove to the world.

Wladimir Klitschko, please hang up the gloves. You’ve had a brilliant-bestest boxing career but at 41 years of age, with 2 losses in a row, it’s time to take stock. You’ve earned the respect of the boxing world, by your going unbeaten for 8 years, by your formidable lead hand jab, and by your cerebral, sensible no-unnecessary-risk approach in the ring.

You’ve also got a PHD in Sports Science so there’s a career, you’ve got your foundation “bringing dreams to life” that could probably use your full time attention – and you speak Ukrainian, Russian, German, and English and all those societies would sure love the likes of you with your good works and vast potential outside of boxing to boost their collective consciousness from decency to excellence.

Geez, even if the above avenues don’t appeal you could go down the slimy road of politics. Isn’t brother Vitali mayor of Kiev?

Anyway, Wladimir, AKA Dr. Steelhammer, be proud you’ve held the: International Boxing Organization World Heavyweight, WBA Super World Heavyweight, IBF World Heavyweight and the WBO World Heavyweight titles. Although no sane, rational person has been able to keep up with why heavyweight boxing had to have its belt-title-organization multiply bifurcate – to be top dog with these groups, is impressive.

You, Volodymyr Volodymyrovych Klychko even after losing in the 11th round before approximately 90,000 Wembley boxing fans – the biggest gate there, in London, England - in 8 DECADES - to Anthony Joshua, stand tall, even taller than your 6’6”. You, literally and metaphorically, fought the good fight against this 27-year-old IBF World Heavyweight champion opponent and you didn’t, for the most part, fight tomato cans while retaining your title(s).

But against Anthony you hit the deck, the canvas, 3 times. True, you knocked him off his feet, hitting his chin for an 8-count - for the first time in his 19-pro-fight career (with Anthony’s trainer Rob McCracken thinking his man was a goner) but YOU going down repeatedly has to tell you – despite the contractual right to a rematch against Joshua, to not exercise that provision - and to spend the rest of your life exercising, where the chances of you facing and sustaining brain injury is nil. Remember this fight as a losing effort – but you gave it your all. In your previous fight, a loss to Tyson Fury, you only landed 52 of 231 punches thrown - a 23% clip.

What counts for more than your 2 losses in a row, however, is that you are still – for any age – a man in excellent physical condition. Put it simply, you’re jacked. Congratulations. Most of us start losing tone from 20 on – and you’ve proven to millions that one can keep superb physical form and looks into their forties. Well done.

And kudos for your supreme, classy act, after the loss, via Twitter. You tweeted respect and congratulations to the victor. You’re a gentleman. None other than Oscar De La Hoya tweeted that Klitschko “...will always be a great champion.” Lennox Lewis and Sugar Ray Leonard also tweeted compliments. The world needs more - via the speaking circuit, perhaps - to learn of your winning habits.  

You are capable of introspection. We could, individually and collectively, all use a healthy dollop of that. Your frank confession that Corrie Sanders cleaning your clock in a knockout in the second round back in 2003 made you analyze, from A to Z, your situation. You added that this drubbing made you a better fighter, and man - - - and the whole process was a tremendous lesson for your followers. To admit failure was remarkable – to shed insights into that that flopping was golden.

You are also capable of off-beat, counter intuitive views. Being born in Kazakhstan, conventional and national wisdom says you should deplore the comic Sacha Cohen whose movie, “Borat”- many from Kazakhstan feel - depicts its citizenry in a bad light. To laugh at one’s own perceived or real faults – is another nugget-example of knowledge from which your existing base, and potential world of followers, awaits more of, should you tell of your insights, full time...

Speaking of movies, perhaps you could use your footwork, network, and family experiences to be the subject of another movie. After all, recall, Sebastian Dehnhardt did direct you and Vitali in the, Romy 2012 best documentary winning flick: Klitschko – Fighters Legends Brothers.

(For us unfamiliar with the documentary you two brother pugilists were tracked and taped, for a couple of years, in travels through the Ukraine, The States, Germany, Canada, Austria, Switzerland and the good old, there’s no place like home, Kazakhstan.)

And rest assured Wladimir, the media lefties like your views. ESPN as an employer is not a far reach. Back in 2014 Boxing News said: “...Klitschko, is an articulate and magnanimous ambassador for his sport. He holds liberal political views, regards the lack of women in politics as scandalous and shames racists and homophobes all over the world.”

Wladimir, you’ve won a ton, 64 wins for those that are counting such things, and have, incredibly, won the hearts of detractors in the process of losing a few bouts. You’ve kept perspective, expanded boxing’s horizons deep into Europe and yet have kept your kin and karma simple and succinct in promising your mother (ok it was her wish-command) that you would never fight your brother professionally. You’ve done it all. With class.
​
Take a bow, leave the ring now. And please ignore boxing promoter Eddie Hearn's spin that a rematch between you and Joshua is 50-50 proposition and please rebut potential pleas from your manager Bernd Boente to fight again.

​Aah, the certainty of youth. Eugenie Bouchard should focus on her career and stop slamming Maria Sharapova. Eugenie is now 23. Professionally she peaked in 2014. She’s a has-been who, though refreshingly candid and well spoken in both French and English, misses the mark in calling for Sharapova to be banned for LIFE in admitting to taking Meldonium.

This drug aids the heart. One drug expert, Don Catlin, doesn’t think it is a performance enhancer and the USA, normally anal about drugs, doesn’t declare it illegal. So, while the International Tennis Federation (ITF) tribunal screwed Sharapova over – sentencing her to a 2 year ban – for using it, Sharapova points out that the drug was legal for years before the rules changed and that she brought up her transgression in a press conference and was partially vindicated by the Court of Arbitration for Sport (CAS) when that body reduced her time-out to 15 months.

So the Russian born tennis star – a 5-time grand slam champion – who has been ranked number 1 – has to take this flack from 59th ranked Eugenie? Really? Bouchard should know not every issue is either/or; black or white. There’s lots of gray in life with choices, circumstances, and issues - and all are not as clear cut as they might seem at first glance.

Of course almost as bad as being too quick to judgment is the resorting to playing the victim. And Sharapova shamefully does so:

"...I hope the ITF and other relevant tennis anti-doping authorities will study what these other Federations did, so that no other tennis player will have to go through what I went through."

For heaven’s sake get some perspective. It’s not like you ran through the gauntlet. You’re not a present-day female Christian martyr nor are you a modern heroine Joan of Arc. Maria, you are, simply, someone caught outside of recently changed tennis rules on drug taking – exacerbated by you being woefully unaware that America – the place you’ve basically lived in for years now – has its Food and Drug Administration (FDA) - and they have never approved Meldonium for the U.S.
​
Meldonium is also known as Mildronate. The World Anti-Doping Agency banned it because it found, in their hallowed opinion, some people were abusing it.

For those, though, with traces of it, WADA deems that “a no fault finding.” Sharapova says she’s taken the drug for years because she lacks magnesium in her body and because her family history features diabetes.

Let’s leave diabetes out of this, let’s look at magnesium. A lack of it increases susceptibility to, among other things - 2 big no-nos so far as being an elite tennis player is concerned: muscle cramps, and chronic pain. To help retain magnesium drink less caffeine, drink less pop, eat fewer donuts and other junk foods full of refined sugar, and partake in no more than 1 alcoholic drink per day.  That should help us, and Maria maintain healthy magnesium stores...

Maria seems to have a healthy store of ego, however. Asked to respond to Bouchard’s blast, she replied: “...I am way above that.”

Er, OK, then. Good to know.

In not rising to the bait Sharapova isn’t showing much fighting spirit. She doesn’t appear too confident in her defense of this over-the-counter-in-some-foreign-countries drug. If she feels Bouchard’s opinion is beneath contempt – she should say so. Put Eugenie in her place. Eugenie is not a big star, though she has flashes – Maria should tell her to work on her lob and leave the rhetorical grenade-attempted aces to someone of more stature – like Serena Williams, say.

Here’s what Maria should have said.

Eugenie, work on your modeling career ‘cause your tennis one is going nowhere – despite you digging in at 9 years old - and despite your family having enough bucks to send the whole lot of you to Florida so you could get lessons from Nick Saviano. You STILL have no offense or defense despite Tennis Canada’s naming you their Female Player of the Year for 4 YEARS straight...Get Vogue on the phone. Or IMG Models. Tweet the barmy “The Genie Army” of same. If you must play tennis, fix your personality and ban the brat act at the very least. Stop being a prima donna and start growing up. Realize that outside of yourself, in your own bubble, none of us is perfect. Don’t worry about following in my footsteps: you can’t fill the shoes. Tune out and amp up your Twitter account – for that’s where your fan base lies. Supporters may think you’re hot in pics but they are not athletic supporters – on the tennis court your game is colder than your personality. Or hit balls with Justin Bieber – you made a Belieber out of him in the “Desert Smash” didn’t you?

My diatribe above, aside, I sympathize with you and the concussion you suffered from slipping at the U.S Open near, or in, the locker room. I understand the area was not well lit – said to be dark, actually. I slipped up in being out of date, and being in the dark too, in not reading a missive WADA sent to athletes about this – now banned drug substance – taken by hundreds of thousands of people in Eastern Europe. I’ve missed 15 months because of my faux pas and you’ve struggled to climb back to respectable elite tennis since your misfortune. Since then, you’ve been struggling with an abdominal injury and I have been wrestling with the fact that I’m not getting any younger (I muffed, missed 13 of 16 break points in my first tourney back in the semi finals at the Porsche Grand Prix.) Both of us know we have to be physically and mentally fit to have a chance at any success at this level. Perhaps we are both human, perhaps we have made mistakes - unforced errors - and perhaps both of us should support one another - instead of the likes of you issuing blanket statements detailing on a subject you clearly know less than the square root of zero about.  You didn’t want to slip up and I didn’t want to screw up.

Hope you win, in your dreams, a Grand Slam one day.
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Sincerely,
Maria.