Paige Spiranac is THE piece of female work on earth, a pro golfer who already rivals Tiger Woods in internet golf images - but as to whether she’ll come 1-2-3, as a percentile to Tiger’s game, is concluded, yeah, it looks like the lady can play.

Paige is just 23. Her favorite stroke is the flop shot. Tiger looks good in a baseball cap; everybody has their niche, right?

Spiranac, however, rightly or wrongly, unlike Woods, looks great in anything. And watching her drive the ball, with her total torso turn, astonishing, given her previous broken-knee injury, and seeing her big backswing, with driver almost below parallel to the ground, à la John Daly in his heyday - gives one the impression she is headed for bigger and better things in her golfing game.
(And her swing is smooth, with no Jim Furyk hitch to boot, and nor does she swing out of her shoes, like the King, Arnold Palmer, used to do.)

When not amassing some worldwide 717,000 followers on Instagram with eye-popping pictures, she’s grounded, having to budget like the rest of us. She had been living in both San Diego and Arizona but is moving to the latter as San Diego is too expensive.

And she’s aware her golf game isn’t top notch. She knows people took bets on her finishing last in tournaments (or at least they did for the Omega Dubai Ladies Masters) and she, demonstrating the wonderful - yet rare -  attribute of not taking oneself too seriously, wants to (and did) blast their financial futures out of the water by coming “...second last or third last...”

So she can laugh at herself, and her situation, a position a mentally healthy and hale person - wants to be in. And actually, for the record, in Dubai, she shot 77 and 79. Missed the cut. Out of 108 entrants, she tied for 101st.

It was her first start as a pro.

The blond bombshell has come quite a ways since that tournament, though given that she played in the U.S Girls’ Junior Championship way back when, she might not have been too shocked when she got her first professional tournament win on the Cactus Tour at the Orange Tree Golf Resort. She finished with a 68, beating the number-one ranked amateur worldwide, Hannah O’Sullivan, on the first hole of a playoff. While the Cactus Tour is a development tour, with three rounds and no cut line, and is not part of the LPGA, it does feature up-and-coming golfers. It’s not for hackers.

Paige points out that her scoring average has improved by four shots. Huge.  

Let’s face it, if it weren’t for Paige’s self-promoted lithe body (thanks to running, gymnastics as a kid, training for 36 hours weekly - with lifting, when older, as a pursuit) and languid (thanks to her presence and present persona)  poses - and her great looks, build, and athleticism (thanks to god given genes of Dad, Dan, a football free-safety with the 1976 national champions ,University of Pittsburgh Panthers squad, and of Mom, Annette, a professional ballet dancer) she would not have been granted a sponsor’s exemption to play in Dubai at all.

Nor would she have graced the cover of Golf Digest magazine in May 2016. So yes, she’s capitalizing on her assets. This has caused some learned commentary from Juli Inkster, a Hall of Famer, as well as some commoner consternation and, undoubtedly, some sour grapes.

Paige admits she’s not (no pun intended) on par with the playing skills of LPGA pros, though her lowest round ever is a 62, and she shot a 67 as a 15-teener at the Karsten course in Arizona, but she’s aiming to hit that elite LPGA level. And who wouldn’t among us use what edges and advantages we had to reach the top, so long as no ethics were eradicated or laws were violated?

Only 99 % of us.

But only a select few have 91,000+ followers on Twitter and have played a round with iconic, Gary Player. Gary grinned, Paige too, then both got down to push ups.

And now she’s again faced the world’s best. She played in the Ladies Scottish Open. And naysayers won’t like that under the News portion of the Ladies European Tour website her story was featured. It was her first visit to Scotland and her first crack at links golf. After round one she was tied for 67th. She shot 76. She then made the cut - her first on a major tour event - after her second round three over, 75. She finished tied for 58th with a third round 74.

So this very fit, 5’6” woman, is not just heavenly body and blond hair. She, a product of San Diego State University, majoring in communications (and that after home-schooling), was also a part of a golf-trick-shot video that amassed 2.6+ million hits.

And if Paige has her way, she’ll play on the European Ladies Tour, full time. She thinks it’s the best place for her golf game to grow (and thus shrink in scoring.) There, she’ll draw on her hero, American Stacy Lewis, winner of two majors, for inspiration, and will look to golf coach, Tyler Hall, for ingredients.
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And we, fans, frenemies, or skeptics, no matter our opinion, now know that Ms. Spiranac has the resolve and apparent talent to continue on her golfing path - regardless of our clapping or slagging. She knows what she wants, has the means and mien to reach it, and that’s a - no matter the final score, great stance, to bring to the game of life.

The unbridled joy, the face smiling a mile, the utterance of WOW, meant to be whispered under a breath - can only mean one thing: The Peking Acrobats have been seen.

No, not seen, WITNESSED, should have been the chosen word, for this group’s skills and stage presence - is not merely sighted by the viewer, but is visually catalogued, not just as an eye sight event, but as a total mind blowing experience.

The Peking Acrobats exhibit - demonstrate - unlike no other human aggregate, athletic dexterity and supreme symmetry - united in feats of power, units of unique balance - perfect poses proving perfect poise, with super duper juggling and balancing - to then be topped off - literally and figuratively, with leaps and bounds, and endless rapid-fire back flips. And all in a few minutes...

Truly, after witnessing the Peking Acrobats I know less about the human form than ever before because their moves seem to contradict the laws of physics certainly, and gravity partially and anatomy totally, yet, I do know this: my hands were so tired of clapping left hand over right, that I switched to right hand over left, to ease the cramping, for the first time in my life.

For what is not to like about a troupe of maybe eight guys and six girls who perform separately for a few routines to, finally, and rightfully, come together for a crowd pleasing finale where, these athletic magicians, with their jaw dropping, impossible acts give the spectator hope – that perhaps we humans can improve, if not like they have surely individually done, than at least a little bit.

Definitely, they provide a 45 minute relief from all that ails us, singularly or collectively. And there is a certain incongruity to all of this. Though their moves are indescribably hard, the setting they use is simply basic. A mat or two here, a hoop there, a ladder for later, some eggs, diabolos (a string, two hand sticks and two cups/discs) for the women, and a volunteer from the crowd.

But perhaps, when your raw and refined talents are so overwhelmingly obvious, you don’t need razzle-dazzle pyrotechnics, throngs of accompanying dancers or singers, huge video displays – all to mask the facts that the group on stage may be missing some essentials in their craft(s).

Now don’t get me wrong, certain accessories were fantastic. The outfits the performers wore were tight to show off beautiful bodies, but loose to allow those bodies to reach unnatural heights, and it must be added, unnatural contortions. The clothes (mostly satin I think) were brightly colored (lots of yellows and reds) some with sequins, others with prints and patterns, some unadorned – but all looked smashing and the music accompaniment was smashing too, and rocked. But other than a soundtrack and the attire, and the above noted props - and humor: classily offered without scene stealing and hamming it up - it was just these performers wowing an audience.

That’s it. But it was WAY more than enough.

Now, for us history buffs acrobatics in China has been tumbling along since the Xia Dynasty 4,000 years ago. The show then, was, applauded, but not lauded, until 1,500 years after - when the Middle Kingdom’s Warring States went gaga over their fellow citizens majestically mastering the feats with plates, vases, bowls, tables, and chairs until now, at the Calgary Stampede 2016, when AGAIN FOR THEM THE UMPTEENTH TIME, this Chinese-cultural-civility ACT (demonstrated initially, by troubadours) made the anatomically inscrutable
 memorable –
and made the rest of us sit up and admire these Sino superstars for showing the world their rich tapestry that wove and spun games, and sports, and music and dancing and stories - and mother nature - into...the Peking Acrobats.

Finally, it has to be stressed again that watching these amazing athletic actors does give credence to civilization; does give hope to us humans, and does give plausible possibilities of what we, the people, can achieve mentally and physically.  

Sex slayed the Oakland Police Chiefs. Three chiefs, now stiffs, in nine days? Haven’t seen that type of revolving door-ejection-seat, at the top, of the brass, since...ever.

Paul Figueroa was "acting" police chief for two whole days before he was swiveled out of his chair, but not cashiered out of town.  He was shuffled back to his old position, as police captain, one assumes, because his ethical breakdowns would fly under the radar there.  Oakland Mayor, Libby Schaaf, did not say why Paul had to go. So the murky situation is, well, as clear as mud.

It seems some officers had sex with a teenage prostitute, hopefully at different times and dates.  Otherwise we'd be talking sickness as well as sex...

Seriously, morals in the force are lower than the New York Knicks’ basketball standards.

Before Paul, there was "interim" Police Chief Ben Fairow.  Interim certainly fits the bill: he lasted but a few days.

Before Fairow there was Chief Sean Whent who went the way of the Dodo bird after the scandals with the lady of the night came to the light of day. Actually Whent should have been fired for fouling the English language when he said “The Oakland Police Department takes this allegation extremely serious...”

(Perhaps the force might get better performances from its top-dog appointees if they removed qualifiers like acting, interim, and the like.) Who, in their right mind, would want a job with such a circumscribed limitation imposed on, and publicized about, it?

Anyway, let's get into the juicy stuff. Who did what to whom, why – well, for sex; when; where; and let's assume - how - is best left to our imaginations. Or maybe there are videos on YouTube revealing the indiscretions...call it Toxic Macho Culture
On second thought don't refer to it as that - because the Mayor has already labeled it that - call it instead: the "Pro Teen Performs with Fourteen Oakland Police."
She, in her major, starring role, alleges she was sometimes a MINOR, just sixteen – though she was impressed by the men-in-uniform and defined her goings on with officers as harmless.

Though she’s engaged in the world’s oldest profession, and classifies herself as a bisexual to boot, she’s a kid - she’s allowed to be naive. Her somewhat unaware thoughts aside, this MINOR aspect takes this scandal from sordidness to grossness.

On a lesser note, Mayor Libby is quite livid to learn some African-American officers texted racially-themed messages.  So there's a separate investigation into that.

Someone should investigate who is now the police boss.  Congratulations, Sabrina Landreth.  Quite a leap from City Administrator to head honcho.
 
Actually there's another boss, the federal government. It has been overseeing the "troubled" department since 2000.  So somebody should investigate the Feds for falling down, YET AGAIN, on the job.

The Feds had taken over because, it seems, some police - AKA "Rough Riders” - were planting evidence and face planting peons-peasants AKA citizens.

One shouldn't think the Oakland police are alone in being sexist, misogynist pigs.  In Canada, the Royal Mounted Canadian Police (RCMP) is being investigated as a force for rampant sexual harassment incidents against its female staff.

But, on the other hand, Googling "Police Sex Scandal" returns Oakland's dirty debacle, front, left, and center - so maybe Oakland's police are somewhat unique in this regard.

But the prostitute “Celeste Guap” born in Nicaragua, who cavorted with Oakland's finest, says she also canoodled with police from at least four other cities. But at least two Oakland officers more than held up their end, giving the woman information on upcoming hooker busts (arrests, not chest sizes.)
Sadly, prostitutes often turn tricks to pay for drug habits, or take to the streets to escape abusive and dysfunctional family life. And in Oakland many congregate in an area known as "The Track" a part of International Blvd.

Noel Gallo, of Oakland's city council, says (paraphrasing) that it is a hub for human trafficking. It would seem, therefore, that a prostitute would not necessarily need a cop's business: there are enough Johns to go around.  The cops have to know this. Gallo could fill them in with statistics from 2015.  The police should focus on preventing crime, rather than actively participating and abetting it.
How will Ms. Schaaf hope to eradicate the Toxic Macho Culture?  She'll, no doubt, draw upon her long and varied experience in public life from Mayor's aide, to Public Affairs Director, to pol from District 4, to Mayor.  But persuasive though she may be from the bully pulpit, what will be even more persuasive will be appropriate charges being laid against the accused offenders by the Alameda County District Attorney’s office, with guilty sentences to follow.  That would smarten up attitudes, right quick.
And perhaps Celeste should look to her step-father as a role model for a career change. He is a dispatcher for the Oakland Police.

Or, better yet: Her mother.

Mom made over $133,000 in 2014 as; you guessed it, a 911 dispatcher – for the Oakland Police. 

The 2016 Calgary Stampede is here. Giddyup on down, downtown, to take in this world-famous rodeo where dreams come true for cowpokes and fans, where both exult in the familiar and new and both double down and double dare in checking out the fantastically freakish foods, all the while basking in the great weather that invariably hits this part of Alberta right around CS time.

The “Greatest Outdoor Show on Earth” has been music to cowboys, cowgirls, rural roughnecks, and city slickers since, what, 1912? - when some 100,000 curious souls, watched over by head of state, Queen Mary, and governed by Prime Minister, Robert Borden, decided to take in this demo. And now, decades of dynamic demonstrations later, let’s musically note that musicians Paul Brandt and Jann Arden lead the Calgary Stampede 2016 parade.

And if you can get past Canadian politicians of all stripes parading around for publicity, and get past the somewhat trashy “Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy” song, and ignore temporary new standards for relationships "it ain't cheating, it's stampeding" - this ten-day show should appeal to all family members.

But let’s say you want to actually work like a rancher, riding, roping, and driving cattle? Well, go straight south of Calgary, some 200 kilometers+ to Sierra West Ranch to do this stuff, while admiring the wide open ranges and the foothills-mountains – and know that as a reward when you do hit the Stampede, you can shoot the breeze and shoot back a Deep Fried Oreo Milkshake.

Speaking of work, it has to be said, Calgary, Alberta is going though totally tough economic times with tens of thousands being laid off from the oil and gas companies. Indeed, for the 2015 Stampede, attendance was “only” 1.17 million. Fossil fuels run this province, fuel financially the rest of Canada - but what is the greatest spark of Calgarians – facing city unemployment rates of 8% - and Albertans, paid and volunteer, who stage this showdown, is their grit, guts and gumption: of course, to a person, they’ll tell you this inability to get a pipeline approved east-west-or-south hurts huge, witnessed by traditional corporate Stampede bashes being cancelled, but they’ll tell you, that’s almost nothing compared to the 2013 Calgary Stampede – the one that took place under the: “Come Hell or High water” theme.

Why? That Stampede was soaked from head to toe from the waters that rose from the Bow River’s overflow, on June 20th just a scant two weeks or so before the Stampede was to open - and this FLOOD of the CENTURY, had created herculean tidy-up tasks, such as draining the Calgary Flames Saddledome, of its new lake some 13 hockey rows up in height/depth. (Unfortunately the Flames hockey performances are still pretty much of a wet firecracker...)

Nevertheless the volunteers who helped clean up the grounds – for god’s sake check out this picture of the Grandstand - should be congratulated for putting on a bang-on hootenanny that 2013.
Clearly Calgarians- Albertans-westerners are cowboy-girl tough and creative – and nowhere are these talented traits more on display than before, during, and after the Stampede. (And, did you know the CS grounds hosts about 1,800 other events yearly and has plans to boost its convention capacity?)

Of course, tough is relative – is there any group of men more manly than those engaged in the Bull Riding event, or more competitive than those in the iconic Chuck Wagon races? Alright, since you gotta know, possibly the firefighters entrusted to quell and quiet Northern Alberta’s Fort McMurray’s raging town-destroying catastrophic fires this year – might be as tough – and certainly as noble.

So, again this greatest gala on the globe, literally unfolds in a province that was under a cloud of smoke - but, uh, extra-terrestrials do take the CS in. Remember that Star Trek’s Captain Kirk, William Shatner, landed long enough to be the Grand Marshall for the 2014 Calgary Stampede and remember, too, you could have taken the Sling Shot ride and visited him back in outer space...

Speaking of out of this world, once again the Calgary Stampede will be plating new outlandishly named-and-concocted foods, this side of the Milky Way, for us connoisseurs of gastronomic adventure. There are 34 new “treats.” Here are some of the doozier ones: Saturday Morning Beaver Balls; Deep Fried Tequila Shot Bites; Biggest Baddest Brat (deals with Bratwurst, not out-of-control kids); The Golden Grasshopper Pie Pop; Fruit Infused Grilled Cheese...you get the idea. Descriptions defy diction - but they all look really... something...when not looking stranger than everything.

What else is new? Well, the Indian Village, a mainstay of CS history, has a new location: the new ENMAX Park. And as for new shows, the Dog Bowl has an intrinsic appeal: all the dogs that jump and dive around, have, to a canine, been rescued (or adopted) from animal shelters. How cool is that? And it will be outside to accommodate anticipated huge audiences. The 2015 Stampede, with its Super Dogs show, which ran for 37 years, was great, so this new show should be top notch - as well as should be the returning Peking Acrobats show, flexibly full of contortionists, tumblers, and gymnasts.

And for those of us wanting to go all athletic, if only for an hour, if you’ve an axe to grind, focus that frustration on its release via actual axe throwing at the Adventure Park. Or actually climb walls. Or play paintball. Or, best yet, get a FREE 10 minute massage and leave the exertions for later.

Now this being the Calgary Stampede, it IS horrible to some. For those that put animals on par with humans, and hate zoos, let alone exhibitions such as this one, the complaints of “cruelty to animals” ring loud and clear. And while it is true that pretty near every year, especially with the chuckwagon races, horses die, the Stampede does boast of its standards and veterinary care for all its animals.

Of course this won’t please the protestors, but for fence sitters, it might be good to know the management is proactive (with, for example, each animal being checked by a vet daily, and with the Calgary Humane Society and the Alberta SPCA having unfettered access to the Stampede) in trying to improve its record in animal care.

For sure the naysayers won’t appreciate Showdown Sunday, billed as “Rodeo’s Richest Afternoon” with cowboys looking to lasso some of the over two million in prize money, with the animals earning...well, the best-feed-ever that Sunday evening? Of course, for those that favor animal-over-man, check out Bull Riding: these beasts usually toss off their riders.

So, definitely...The Calgary Stampede, sure as shooting, has something to see, and be, for everyone.  

​Who says crime doesn’t pay? The University of Calgary paid hackers $20,000 to undo the damage they wrought to the university’s computer systems. The damage was done on May 28th and 29th. Say, maybe this hacking job can be discussed at the 19th Black Hat USA six-day conference, a six-day gab fest that deals with hackers this upcoming August, in Vegas.

But, sigh...if the Secret Service and the FBI haven’t found out who hacked Target Stores, what are the chances the computer criminals - who hacked the Canadian university’s Office 365 webmail and the AirUC-Secure wi-fi network (a wireless encrypted network allowing users to connect to the internet) to name but two systems tampered with - will be caught, no matter how many whiz kids work in that institution’s IT department, or are enrolled in their Computer Science program? Indeed, the first screen on that university’s website says: Prepare to be amazed.

(One would hope they are referring to their courses and superior educational experiences and not to the facts that A) they are still dumbstruck at being hacked B) had to pay the offender(s) C) haven’t the foggiest idea as to how they got broken into and D) the ransom was paid using untraceable Bitcoins.)

Of course the Calgary Police, who are investigating, might solve the crime(s).

Sure, this hacking crime is small potatoes – although U of C’s IT folks, no doubt munched a ton of potato chips while creating 9,000 new email accounts for staff - but computer hackers inflict millions of dollars of damage to corporations and governmental organizations (defense departments, NASA – it seems the latter is a favorite target for hackers) plus untold heartache on citizens whose identities are stolen. And one criminal computer caper, a scheme affecting more than 100 million people and their personal information, is being heard right now before the Manhattan federal court.

Many admire hackers, not so much for their living and mooching in their parents’ basement and getting away with it, wearing pajamas all day without caring a whit for their looks - but for their ostensibly sticking it to the “man”, for their robbing from the technologically and digitally rich - to give to the...nobody but themselves - whether materially, emotionally, or both.
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Some would say that hackers perform a useful public service, showing and proving fault lines in personal and public computer systems. Grateful and rueful companies sometimes pay the hackers through either consultation fees or through direct employment. Again, who says crime doesn’t pay? 
And hacking is certainly a crime. In the USA, for example, both the federal and state governments have statutes providing recourse against wiretapping, communication interference, identity theft, access device fraud...you get the idea.

Just to be clear, the hacker community can be divided into the “White Hats” and the “Black Hats.” Here, mainly, we are dealing with the bad guys – the Black Hats. But apparently there are good guys - the White Hats - who tinker with computer software and tickle hardware code for the public’s benefit. In fact, White Hat hacking can be legally authorized. Though he died far too early at just 35, Barnaby Jack, in 2010, showed (at a Black Hat show) how, with only a laptop, he could hack into ATMs and have them spit out cash! He called it “jackpotting.” He then worked with ATM folks to upgrade security.

And American Dan Kaminsky, back in 2008, helped prevent the Internet Domain Name System from malicious re-routing and total failure, known as “DNS Cache Poisoning.”
Chinese hackers have shown how a Tesla electric car can have its doors open unexpectedly when moving. Marcel Lazar, a Romanian, aka Guccifer, claims to have hacked into Hillary Clinton’s private email system – much to the delight of her political opponents.

So there are some generally positive, and specifically political, benefits to hacking.

Of course, if the University of Calgary really wants to get a secure computer system, it should ape what the Pentagon did. Back in early 2016 it INVITED hackers to infiltrate their way into government systems. (Of course many wags might argue such malware might actually improve government delivery of its programs, but that’s a blog for another day.)

And other wags, of course, might ask the hacking-left-hand of the U.S. government what it was doing with the Israeli government with Stuxnet. What’s Stuxnet? It was a cyber warfare program supposedly designed and implemented by both governments to harm and hamper the Iranian nuclear program. It started with a worm...

What’s a worm? Well it is part of the hacker’s glossary, a glossary of terms and words rich in sound and wealthy in meaning that, when used properly or foolishly, like when the word “bagbiter” is introduced here, separates the poseur from a real hacker.

Pretty sure, the pointy heads at the University of Calgary, know that!