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Great New Year's Resolutions!

12/25/2015

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New Year’s 2016 resolutions we’d love to see:
​
THAT –

The James Bond brand picks a worthy successor to Daniel Craig. Chris Hemsworth, anyone?

Charlie Sheen stay out of the news for a year.

All those politicians, pontificators, and pillow-puffer-uppers who flew to Paris, then wined and dined on our dime, then, via non-binding, non-enforceable, targets - declared they and they alone had saved the earth, stop, PLEASE, boasting about how wonderful you are.

By 2016-2017 US college football will cut back on the too many bowl games, 41 of which are being played from now until Jan. 11th.

NCIS will run for years to come.

Seinfeld reruns will air forever.

No politician should ever be allowed to start a sentence with "let me be absolutely clear."

Someone, other than Windows, explain the benefits of Windows 10. No wonder it's a free download.

The eco-terrorists learn producing lettuce creates more greenhouse gases than does pork production. (Love seeing ‘em go fetal, love seeing ‘em squirm.)

The United Kingdom keeps the world up to date on the fallout from their Ministry of Justice software glitch that miscalculated divorce settlements.

Government(s) encourage e-Cigarettes, if the alternative is real cigarettes.

For the real cigarette smokers out there, 2016 is the year you can finally butt out for good (without dying.)

Someone stop the oh-so-annoying ads on internet videos and blogs – for they get in the way of our free viewing and reading.

The Philadelphia 76ers basketball team is arrested for impersonating a professional organization. That the General Manager, Sam Hinkie, be escorted out of town – and dribbled off the basketball planet.

Barack Obama, who swapped five total Taliban terrorists for probable deserter Bowe Bergdahl, never gets a real job, ever again.

Caitlyn Jenner get pregnant, have a baby, and breast feed same, thus completing his-hir-her transformation from man to man-woman to woman-woman.

Jordan Spieth, with his class and classic golf play, continue to prove the sport after Tiger (and his relative lack of class) is in good hands.

NBA stars carry, at maximum, only $500,000 worth of jewelry at home, so robbers won’t make off like bandits as they did stealing the mother lode of $750,000 worth of baubles from the abode of, say,the Knicks’ Derrick Williams.
Forget the NBA, jewelry-limits thing. Just realized $750,000 is not even a quarter of the cost (approx. $4 million) of a single, solitary ring that Kobe Bryant spent as a prelude to make-up sex with his wife!

Richard Gere, 66, rethink his desire to marry, and start a new family with, Alejandra Silva, 32 - and save himself an estimated 50 million that current wife, Carey Lowell, wants as the price of a speedier divorce - and also save himself public ridicule and subsequent  embarrassment once he realizes he’s marrying someone half his age.

Miss Piggy and Kermit the frog, after a 40 year relationship, find happiness apart.

The new study stating saturated fat found in butter, cream, and meat may not be as harmful as previously thought - is right.  Many of us who love butter, cream, and meat-based foods certainly feel such eating is right!

Michael Caine win the Academy award for best actor in a leading-man role for his part in the movie “Youth.”  Caine is 82!
 

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Donald Trump - Blowhard breath of fresh Air

12/19/2015

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Donald Trump is a blowhard breath of fresh air. Rightfully, he calls “undocumented workers” illegal aliens and rightfully he recommends Muslims intending to immigrate and visit the States - be temporarily barred - until the government can figure out what is going on.

His is a breath, a pause, which refreshes because remember, Obama’s government couldn’t run his health care website and wouldn’t tell the truth about his health care plan. So Trump’s skepticism of government abilities (and moralities) makes sense.

Now, Hillary, lately, she’s footloose and fancy free, playing cupid. Love for her, is the fixture, the cure. (Note: For Hillary “love” also means she won’t say that Bill’s a hound dog sexual-seeker pill.)

Her mentor and electoral tormentor, Obama – lately and languidly - he’s obtuse and fancy free, playing stupid, care free.  Love for he, is the elixir, the cure.
(Note:  Barack is a dearth of fresh air. Wrongfully, he can’t - won’t - say America’s biggest enemy are pious, Islamic Koran adherents.)

To Trump again.

He thinks, firstly, of America’s well being. Barack’s Attorney General, Loretta Lynch, thinks, firstly, of American Muslim feelings.

(Lynch and Obama, however, are mute to Saudi Arabia, that Sunni-Salafist country-caliphate, pondering whether to stone, and upset, feelings of a Sri-Lankan maid.)

Lefties lambaste Trump. But aren’t they all wet? They revere gays, putting ‘em on pedestals and loathe religions, yet they coddle Islam, which LOVES one religion and is severe about plans to plot gays six feet under.

The left is dense. The Donald makes sense.

Obama, Clinton and - seemingly 110% of university attendees and employees - side with Islam because they  deplore Judeo-Christian-founded-democratic-capitalistic-successful, merciful, magnificent, countries, like for example, Australia, Canada, and the USA.

But lefties, wake up:  

When push comes to shove, when Muslims’ make up and re-populate entities (like they are currently and inexorably) in Germany, Sweden, and the UK,

You lefty wussies, unwilling and unable to fight for yourselves, will be the first infidels to go.
OK. Sorry. All Jews will be the first to go - then the non-believer rest, Christians and other sub-humans, will get the jihad-subsequent heave ho.

To many (most) Americans, Trump is cathartic, a cool fresh breeze - a doer, unlike Barack, the brooder and a winner, unlike Hillary, the loser.

Trump and sentient citizens know a country can’t survive if interlopers and infiltrators are allowed to trod over citizenship laws, and its lands, holus bolus. And Trump, while suffering in polling against Hillary, will pick up many of her supposed votes - because those polled-votes are lying, still too somewhat embarrassed or reticent to admit they like what Donald says.

For the hardcore left, Trump is a demagogic, idiotic tool, a wispy-blond-orange-haired orangutan, a Hitler-like-against-American-values ghoul-fool -who drives them bonkers and batty.

Why?

Because he doesn’t back down and surrender to their limited range of thoughts, birthed in safe spaces like Yale U. (Scratch that. Yale, their students at least, have caught THE terrible terror threat, the beast: Halloween costumes!)

But ultimately, for us non-political or independent-voter beings, Donald Trump is seen as well and swell. Anyone who can piss off both the Democrats and Republicans is heaven sent.
Hey, the American and worldwide mainstream media will tell you Trump is a buffoon. They’ve been in the bag, for that old old-war-horse harridan hag, that “serious candidate” Hillary Clinton, a person so serious and sober she ran State Department emails through an unsecured server in her boudoir/closet/attic/crawl space that they can’t now grant Trump any grace.

Maybe that’s not a shock. How can they now bow, for a Donald who WOWS?

Yes, Trump is brusque, brash, risqué, and rude – but maliciousness doesn’t ooze from his pores. Obama, conversely, is deemed erudite but via executive orders, and willful malice, and wanton negligence - exampled by giving Iran 150 billion bucks though that country hasn’t signed a nuclear-anything, Obama’s non-compliance with existing laws and his total compliance with illegalities and unreality has him oozing unctuously, viciousness - at least towards Republicans - from every one of his pores.

For us dough heads – us undecided – we’re in a pickle. Neither party is worth a plugged nickel in solutions, sense, ethics, or recompense so we, the great unwashed, are somewhat unabashed, seeing Trump as the brash triumphant leader among GOP RINO’S.

Donald is at bat, has money to campaign deep. He’s said to be short on advisers but, uh, what good has Hillary’s paid staff, numbering around 350 or so, done for her??? Donald puts his dough where his mouth is and though he’s uncouth as all get out, he beats the snot out of the Beltway rot.

Months back Ann Coulter, best-selling author on American political culture - faced derision from other pundits on the Bill Maher show when she said Trump’s the GOP’s best chance and choice. Another guest, Joyce Reid, scoffed. Ann took the umbrage stoically, and when the audience hooted in disgust, took their opinions stoically too.

And she’s still right if poll prognostications as of December 18th, 2015 are right...

Trump’s labeled as a fool by Democrats, a party of rats that lionize, to this day, a cruel party-hearty-watery mockery of a man, one Teddy Kennedy, the drowner and downer of an unwilling and unknowing campaign volunteer, Mary Jo-Kopechne. Democrats should be quiet...

Absolutely, Trump tries one’s patience, but, patronizingly, Hillary tries one’s accents. Donald constructs big edifices, Hillary glosses over Bill’s big erections. She also avers big businesses don’t create jobs.

Donald can negotiate, Hillary can prevaricate. She lies  like a rug.  
​
Trump will walk all over her.
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Stop Christmas weight gain.

12/10/2015

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Can we survive Christmas cookies, candy - and New Year’s booze? Can we keep our weight gains to manageable portions, knowing most of us will gain weight? Given that we will see more of friends and family, and attend more parties, it is safe to say we might miss some workouts. Who has time to get to the gym for the regular session when obligations impinge?

Ok. So, what's a stopgap solution to get some exercises in, that won't necessitate you taking a trip, or even leaving your bedroom? (And, no, we are not talking nookie!) Why don't you focus on three exercises: jumping jacks, pushups, and sit ups?

Jumping jacks will help your cardio, sit ups your core, while pushups will assist in retaining, and gaining, chest and arm muscle mass.

Most know about pushups and sit ups, so let’s focus on jumping jacks. Maybe you didn’t know they increase the heart rate and metabolism, strengthen joints, and boost blood circulations. But remember, if you are coming back to exercise after a long layoff, don’t do too many of them at once.

Say you’ve been a couch potato for time immemorial. Let’s change that “routine” slightly. Every time the 10 commercials-at-a-time start, do sets of 5, or 10, jumping jacks. By the end of your 2-hour boob-tube session you might have chalked up 50, or 100.

And write those jumping jacks done on a calendar, or a notebook, or an app, or enter the facts in your computer, using your favorite software. It’s crucial to keep track of exercises accomplished. It’s half the battle! It’ll tell you how far you can “push” it the next time you work out. Too much, too fast leads to injury – or hatred of the doings...

Not sure how to do a jumping jack? This one minute video shows you everything you need to know. (Some folks know this exercise as the star jump, others as the side-straddle hop.)
​
Remember, something is better than nothing - and doing these three exercises will help you get through Christmas and New Year’s bashes...without blowing your good works of months past to blimp size!
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Black Friday - deal day - Die maybe!

12/3/2015

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Black Friday, the shopping spree, is at times, a trampling, a travesty.

Shouldn’t be.

Some Americans, looking for deals, wielding violence, delivering deaths, all in their best-deal breaths, are forgetting memories and homilies, of Thanksgiving, a celebratory day, experienced just a scant 24 hours previous.

What gives?

Well, whoa - what a difference that day to-day makes. For, in the early morn, consumerist USA stands and stretches, ready to go grievous, as it seeks, via shopping stampedes:
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Savings.

That’s it.

Savings.

So the giving of thanks on Thursday gives way to, the giving ‘er hell on Friday. And those “hard earned dollars” of the tax payer, or those bucks received via government largesse, must be spent in a frenzy, to get savings. Spending money to save money.

Bad logic, worse practice.

Let’s touch upon the worst practices of Black Friday’s past.
In 2008 Wal-Mart worker, a stand-backer-bloke, Jdimytai Damour, was killed, murdered, after eager-beaver shopper-savers barged their way in.

We all know Wal-Mart has low prices. Third World prices. Every day. So – despite further savings on this big-price-slash blow-out Whack-Black Friday, are consumers’ financial rewards worth the mishmash and clash, worth the risk of life and limb?

Sure, 2008, when Damour was fatally felled, was an economic nadir for the nation, but even with times so tight, surely the 34-year-old, over-night stock clerk, all 6’5 of him, need not have been brought low by the basest instincts of crowd – a crowd that became a trampling herd...
2,000 shoppers were present, but authorities attributed only 200 as the actual attackers that criminally squashed this fellow to death - for must-have stuff like mouth wash, toothpaste, electronics, whatever...

Hey. Where were the police? Please. (The cops called to the scene had left earlier, didn't stick around. Apparently crowd control wasn't part of their shtick...)

And remember the woman who, in 2011, went wild with pepper spray in the Wal-Mart store in Porter Ranch? Officials have a euphemism for the likes of her actions: “competitive shopping.” Anyway, she nailed kids and adults, in different parts of the store, on different parts of the body, causing sore eyes, skin, and throats, before she made her escape. Let’s hope, before she went on the lam, she availed herself of the wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am big bargains on tricycles, Bratz dolls, and Wii video games – otherwise what’s the point?

Strangely enough, some people shopping on Black Friday aren't looking for deals, they are inveterate impulse buyers, immutably, inscrutable, in their wanton filling, via wholesale or retail, of wants and ways. Others shop because...because - they know it will piss off their spouse. And others, sadly, shop, having nothing better to do.

But keep this in mind. Did you know all of our shopping, saving, or scrimping habits are governed, in large part, by our brain chemistry? So those credit card buys - of HD-TV’s, (boxed season series of TV shows), iPads, video games, cookware, are not always logical. The actions of purchasing are somewhat intangible, predicated, on...

Us, being human.

And in a fuss. Toys are at 50% off, for example. We, therefore, put on our coats, we put out our bucks, we pad our debts, and for what - for our young ones, for their temporary, 30 seconds or so, of unbridled ecstasy? They’d be much happier if we gave them our time.

So, are Black Friday purchases the way to go? Yeah, if we can remember to carry, and use, our decency and decorum everywhere – and not carry, and abuse, shopping competitors with pepper spray from nabbing your...potential possessions.

And know this. If you missed Black Friday, there will be another sale, right round the bend.
Until then. Chill. Get a life.

Or go online shopping.
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