But what of the dry nightmare tax-evasion accusation the fantabulous Portuguese footballer faces?
Words cannot express Rocket Ronaldo’s greatness but soccer commentators have jobs to do and their truly difficult trick is to NOT use superlatives already in play to describe this guy, this forward, who, in his own words, grew up poor. Thus we hear tributes like:
“Confidence personified. The magic remains. Stunning, absolutely stunning. One of the best goals he’s ever scored. Absolutely sensational. Brilliant. We are witnessing an exhibition tonight. Not many players can do that. An absolute stunner. Oh my word. Top drawer. Can you believe the genius of this man? Unstoppable. Fine individual strike. An invaluable talent. This man can’t stop scoring. Did he really just do that? As outrageous a goal as you are going to see in any league. Not too far out for him.”
But is Cristiano’s being accused of shortchanging Spain some €14.7m (£12.95m) between 2011 and 2014 far out? Or is this just sort of a “misunderstanding? But, if not - if he is guilty – well, why would he ever do such a thing? The superstar had more than enough money during the period in question. Would it be due to greediness, or might it be some deep, dark thoughts of retribution and revenge he harbors towards authorities in that country he’s played in - in trying to “take it to the man” via tax fraud?
He’s to appear in the Pozuelo de Alarcon court this July 31st to determine if he is charge-worthy.
For sure, if he is eventually found guilty and has to pay a fine, he can shake his Nike piggy bank which pays him, in a lifetime-contract, a cool 1 billion bucks. Or he could dip into his salaried funds of 50 million dollars annually. Or, failing these options, he could hold a raffle: pay my fine – betcha at least 1 fan of his 275 million social media followers would cough up the needed dough.
275 million athletic supporters can’t be wrong, because, besides being one of the best soccer players of all time, he seems to be on the right side, on his Twitter account at least, of apparently supporting causes like donating blood (there’s a picture of him with a sign that says donate blood) or apparently feeling angst over global refugees and feeling anxious over not enough Saving-the-Children going on to suit him.
And surely he can’t be nearly as corrupt as your basic, wedded-to-entitlement-and-lucre, money grabbing and grubbing FIFA kleptocrat is, can he?
Perhaps we should cut him some slack – until we know the complete story. Perhaps Spain’s Agencia Tributaria is charging The Sultan of the Stepover out of bitterness, knowing his net worth, estimated at 375 million as of 2016, is a healthy economic barometer, when compared to the Great Recession that has wrecked Spain and its economic barometers since 2008. Perhaps the state legal service, which is the stick of that country’s tax doings, is shelling tax flack at him because he’s better than all their players. Perhaps one of their tax bureaucrats hates soccer and especially detests how the slightest mishap has a player writhing as though he’s been trampled over by the 3rd Panzer Division. Or maybe the bureaucrat simply goofed in his or her mathematical assumptions and computations.
Or, much likelier still, given Spain’s being ranked (the lower the number the higher the perceived level of corruption) as 58th out of 175 countries being measured – has a tax authority simply looking for a bribe to make this whole unseemly affair go away...
No matter what Spain’s role is, Ronaldo, AKA the little bee “abelhinha”, should look at replacing, or getting, a financial advisor familiar with overt tax laws in Spain which consist of tax regulations (including – and this is a partial list: economic activities tax; personal income tax; and wealth tax), tax agency regulations (including Acts, Royal Decrees, Ministerial Orders, Resolutions, and Instructions) other regulations of interest, international taxation regulations, regulations pending or
Geez, starting to feel woozy here, starting to feel Ronaldo’s pain. CR7 you’d best get a financial fixer and finagler who can deal with Spain’s covert skullduggery and behind the scenes tom-foolery.
That would have saved him from his presently being thought as somewhat of a cad to, if he’s found culpable, of being ultimately found as a criminal.
Should the latter be the case he can compare tax fraud felonies with rival Lionel Messi, who had HIS tax-fraud conviction upheld by Spain’s Supreme Court. Should the former be the situation Cristiano Ronaldo can share boo hoo stories with José Mourinho, who Spanish authorities think burned them for €3.3m (£2.9m) while he was managing Real Madrid, or Ronnie can sip some weak tea and do a whole sob sister oh-so-sad-story thingy with Colombia’s Radamel Falcao, who Spain think hosed them for £4.8m or hey, Cris can share a few stiff drinks and shout a few stronger protestations over the horror of it all with Argentina’s Javier Mascherano, who the tax office in...Spain...of all places - thinks tried to pull the wool over their eyes to the tune of £1.3m or Ronaldo, if you haven’t yet fainted from the tax-impositional indignity enveloping you, could shoot the s—t with Spaniard Xabi Alonso who, Spanish tax authorities believe hasn’t been kosher in minding his Ps and Qs when it comes to remitting to them their considered fair due in duties.
Two things are for sure. 1) The Spanish Tax Authorities are taxed to the max in ferreting Euros out of bedroom bureaus and 2) Ronaldo won’t get a decent night’s sleep, or a randy night wet dream orgasmic evening, until this tax fraud caper-case is put to bed.