​We love junk foods. We know they aren't good for us - but we can't resist our hankerings, nor resist their textures and tastes. Here is THE amazingly easy, most effective, totally BEST way to wean ourselves off these processed, high calorie snacks.
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Next time you get a cold - with its accompanying side effect inabilities to have you smell or taste foods - get through that cold, after its obligatory week or two, knowing the cold itself weaned you off all foods (other than chicken soup) basically, for four to five few days. We know nobody eats anything when suffering.

Result? Success! You've already begun the purge of poor "foods" with no effort, thanks to that nagging cold.

Then, when your senses of smell and taste return, get your sweet-sugar fix from fruits like strawberries, raspberries, or pineapple, and get your wide-ranging texture desires from foods like raw almonds or avocados - and get your taste buds satiated from foods that don't include words like: artificial flavor.

And begin your buoyant, healthy life - free from junk food.
​

Do academic programs have to steer into stupidity as has the Women's & Gender Studies Program at Bradley University? This "higher learning" private institution out of Peoria Illinois via their "The Body Project" declares that heavy people are essentially helpless. They pan the fact that many feel fat individuals could lose weight if they tried.

And it must be terribly disconcerting to the interdisciplinary luminaries at Bradley to know, or at least suspect, that many fat people also think they could lose fat if they exercised more and chose healthier foods.

Anyway, the academics involved in the program could lose some weight of their own. In their five primary objectives, they could lose some words, use simpler words, resulting in clearer writing. Get a load of point two:

2. to understand that gender is foundational to the functioning of social, cultural, economic, and aesthetic systems;

The above objective takes 16 words. Try this on for size:

2. To understand that gender is basic to society's cultural, economic, and aesthetic essences;

The reworded objective takes 13 words, reducing the sentence's weight by some 18%. (It also capitalizes the letter t at the beginning.)

Almost as importantly, does anyone, other than the intelligentsia at Bradley, know what an aesthetic system is?

It's perhaps not shocking that these folks involved with gender should loom large with language. Look at point one, their raison d'être - for in it they wantonly declare they want to spread everywhere:

1. to integrate knowledge about women and gender into the scholarship of various disciplines and professions across the university by promoting student engagement with feminist discourses and practices;

Hopefully this treatise hasn't lost you, getting bogged down on Bradley U's shortcomings. Let's look at the fat-heavy-obesity assumptions that this Studies discipline makes, to see if some make any semblance of sense. Essentially, the program worries that the fat are stereotyped as "...lazy, undisciplined, unhealthy and gluttonous."

Much as we, who verge on scaling the heights of Mount Political Correctness, hate  to admit it, we know stereotypes don't come out of thin air. They're backed by actual or anecdotal observations and research. Many fat people don't walk enough in their spare time, preferring to chow down in front of the boob tube, a pity, because as opposed to watching - walking - however brief in time, or short in distance, is a great way to exercise, a fine way to lose pounds.

To their credit, however, a couple of points in The Body Project - The Skinny on Fat - are pretty well bang on. They warn of chronic dieting and how it can lead, unfortunately in the short term, to weight gain - and can lead - eventually in the long term, for weight reduction to be a physical impossibility. Yo-yo dieters can verify to these happenings as problematically true...

But Bradley University goes too far. To their detriment they itemize a few studies, without linking to same, supporting their suppositions. But where's the balance, where are the contrary findings of other studies, or their links?

Reading The Body Project, one gets the feeling that the authors mean well. They care about the corpulent - yet their overriding bullet points and biases trend toward homeostasis. They prefer that the grossly overweight accept their condition, not only for reasons such as the blunting of fat shaming, but for the ultimate uber-kooky rationale that this may be the healthiest, both mentally and physically, route to go. 

Alas, Bradley University is not alone in exalting a "don't worry, be happy" approach to health.

Heard of HAES?

It stands for: Health At Every Size. It essentially, boldly and baldly, states that "body diversity" is cool.

Then it dips its big fat toe into the waters of skepticism, saying scientific assumptions must be challenged. As regards the skepticism about science - and confronting dogmas or politicized papers or positions not truly peer reviewed - for fear of offending the cultural "accepted" positions of the moment - good for HAES.

Science has become politicized, if Global Cooling - NO! Global Warming - NO! Climate Change! are any indications, but while Bradley's best are busy confronting a myriad of scientific and personal essays and entreaties on obesity, have they bothered to observe the subjects being studied? How many over-weight individuals, for example, are limited by their conditions - precluding mountain climbing, horseback riding, marathon clomping, or one-seat fare airplane flying? How many of the adipose, other than Santa Claus, seem to be jolly? Unlike, race or gender (which are now situationally in flux every 15 minutes) being fat - has always been - a non permanent condition.

​One can change one's shape. Or not. Or fail or succeed in the trying(s).  Bradley and HAES are so wrong in the: what feels right...

What doesn't feel right, if our sensitivity and inclusivity antennas are monitoring for perceived or egregious offenses, are, as of August 25th, 2017, this program's website scrolling pictures. Horrors upon horrors, there is one picture of six white women with no women of color anywhere to be found!

That's not allowed.

Fortunately that faux pas was corrected when another photo shows six black women, with no other races present - but as for clothing - five are being non-inclusive in display, only showing off the color purple, while one has a top of a muddy aqua-blue lilac hue. What the heck gives? Where's the rainbow, if not of  people of all colors, of at least clothes in a colorful spectrum?

Phew. For me and you things come to a full holistic circle with a group shot of the black and white women, with another body that so much looks like a guy. And in another shot, they show a smattering of serious, studious, Bradley brainiacs at a smorgasbord, with plates of comely comestibles offered - yet - ironically, or intentionally - not a one of the diners shows a heaping plate of food on their place setting.

No photo shows sushi seaweed lodged between teeth or part of a chicken super-sized wing stuck in one ear. Hmm, oh dear.

What gives?

Hypocrisy, it's clear - writ large!

Don’t know if Donald Trump is to blame for this, but the U.S. is the fattest place, anywhere. And don’t blame global warming, with its oceans rising and our lands sinking for this, either - because these submerging grounds are due to 711 million of us...being obese.

We, the fat, crevice continents by the very act of standing up.

Ok, the massive mortal, mashing our earth into water, is hyperbole - but the 711 million figure and the asserted USA-being-the-fattest fact, are real. The Washington Examiner calls it a life threatening problem, this obesity onslaught, with The States leading the way. The Examiner refers to a study done by the New England Journal of Medicine.

Actually, if we want to blame a US President for obesity - at least as it exists in Mexico, blame President Clinton. Under his rule the North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA) was passed - as legislation, not as a laxative - and since then, some experts contend, Mexicans have been gulping down sodas, and other soft drinks, from their northern neighbor, like there's no tomorrow and now today, Mexico is a heavyweight so far as ranking countries for "globesity" goes.

So what? Should we care if the obese leave us prematurely? Sure, the fat will die first, there will be less of the porkers present, but look at the bright side: the shapelier will be alive – and Charles Darwin can have another long, cool one, knowing his evolutionary theory - AKA “The Survival of the Fittest” - will continue to survive and thrive...

(But let’s not look too hard into the fact that fat people seem to be winning the evolutionary battle because A) it defeats the paragraph above - and B) there is still more fun to be had here...)

Speaking of survive, perhaps peace will reign what with east meeting west in this pickle of the porcine. The above-mentioned study says China and America are the most rotund so far as adults go. Commonality there. A chance for a sharing of ideas...

But, to underscore how much this problem of obesity worldwide is a serious subject, with serious criteria, serious characteristics, and even more serious conclusions, it was befitting the NEJM had its pointy heads reveal:

“We used spatiotemporal Gaussian process regression to estimate the mean prevalence of obesity and overweight.”

Got that? Me neither. But we realize that, yes, obesity is a weighty matter, needing our long-term concern. But on a short term basis, shouldn't we care much more that the intellectuals who wrote the above quoted didn't get: A) It can make no sense to anyone who isn't an academic, rendering it gobbledygook, thus creating B) It, the public, will not be galvanized to support this cause? 

Because if that public literally can't understand the underlying rationale that explains the "facts" - the Poindexters' attempt to scare the wits out of everybody will fall flat. If the masses can't understand the underlying foundation, they won't rise up and shake a real or metaphorical leg... What were these supposedly smart researchers and prognosticators thinking? So, definitely, shouldn't we care more, in the short term, that our intellectuals are unfathomably dumb - to come out with such non-soul-stirring language?

Anyway, for decades now, worry warts on the issue of gargantuans on our globe have been hectoring. They've warned us of facts, trends, and reasons behind us growing so huge. And how we, the BIG, have failed their - and governmental expectations. And for decades now people – if our sight of these sights is bang on, have - pun intended - largely - ignored the treatises of  plights and pleas - - - - - - - widely. 

Basically the corpulent haven’t cared a hoot, munching on fast foods and ordering those foods into bigger portions than ever. 

So if we the ordinary folks don’t care, where’s the problem?

Perhaps we don’t mind if we are flabby. And perhaps the main reason we buy those fat loss and fitness books is because, well, it's the least we can do. We can virtue signal to fitter friends and family  that we are on the case, and that we mean business. We can also vicariously signal to same that we, HOPE these purchases will buy us some silence from our disapprovers and denigrators...

Getting back to the blame game vis a vis politics and our too-big people, perhaps, in reflection, Barack and Michelle Obama are blaming themselves for failing to get their citizenry to shape up. Remember Michelle's "Let's Move" project? Among other things it wanted stricter regulations on what kids could eat at lunch.

The kids voted with their taste buds, and their feet - tossing the mandated healthy meals into the trash before they, at best, scrammed out of the school caf to find some fast food, or, at worst - went to alleviate noon-time hunger by smoking outside.

Lots of federal funds and White House fiats went down the drain. Furthermore, according to another study, the kids who got - and ate - their meals from schools, adhering to Michelle's best ordered-intentions, grew fatter. 

So let's remember, too, that Trump has only been running and ruining the world for some 8-9 months now. The fatsos have been hulking about for a long time....

Therefore, let's say the choice to be a whole hog is a personal, not a political-partisan one. And perhaps health experts should stop shaming us tubbies – for it does no good. Undoubtedly carrying excess poundage is not good, physically for the person, but if that person doesn't intrinsically care, why should we? 

So, what is the key to losing fat? Walking, Water, Weight training, Watching what you eat, and Writing of your progress; the FIVE W's! 
​
As for what to eat, whether you are a vegan, vegetarian, or an unreformed carnivore - it still comes down to the amount of food you eat, not the type of food. There are far too many value judgements about what is right or wrong to eat. Eat what you will, where you wish, when you want. If you find yourself loathing the fact that your mirror ain't wide enough to handle the load, you'll figure it out, you'll do something. Leave the protestations about what you are eating, aside. Enjoy your food. Remember to chew it though, and not swallow it down the hole, whole.  Perhaps you might ponder about eating just a bit less of whatever you're chowing down on, for if you can't see the plate upon which your comestibles temporarily rest - it might explain your weight... 

Success, fame, a winning personality, and a sense of humor can’t insulate one from family tragedy as David Feherty found out. His eldest son, Shey, died of a drug overdose. Befitting David’s popularity as a golfing reporter and TV Host for the Golf Channel, golfing icons such as Gary Player, Ernie Els and others tweeted their condolences.

Twitter, though handy and immediate, seems a poor, somewhat insensitive method to convey feelings of sympathy with the buzzwords “thoughts and prayers” all too commonly used - but times change...and David did tweet the horrible news - so perhaps friends and followers thought tweets back would be acceptable.

What hasn’t changed, however, is the scourge of drugs and the terrible effects their misuse can cause to the taker and their loved ones. Shey was just 29. Apparently he died on his 29th birthday. The Golf Channel tweeted that “Family means everything to David...” and even if true, certainly something wrong happened along the way for his eldest boy to OD at such an early age. The young man had been fighting drug addiction and mental illness for quite some time. Did he feel pressure to live up to Dad’s aura? Or did he, the oldest boy of David’s from his first marriage to Caroline DeWitt, see some rationale for his experimentation with drugs, given that Dad had waged his own battles with depression, a bi-polar disorder - and insomnia - fueled in parts with Whiskey, Weed, Cocaine, and Vicodin? Maybe the young man had a sense of invulnerability. His Dad not only survived, he later thrived, and beat back his craziness and recklessness with drugs and alcohol, so maybe the son figured a little experimentation on his own part, might not only not be a bad idea, but a fun one.

And perhaps things from there spiraled out of control...

At any rate, the National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA) has graphs swinging upwards for deaths due to overdoses. (From 2002 to 2015, for example, the heroin graph shows a drastically steep climb of fatalities...)

For his bugaboos, David got help, aside from his wife, from none other than Tom Watson. He had solid companions, in part due to his public persona and in part due to his likability. David’s been sober for 12 years. It’s a shame that whatever help might have been offered and might have been accepted by Shey wasn’t enough to get him clean, on the right track.

Shey wasn’t a loser. He wasn’t a total outsider from society. He was, in fact, entrepreneurial and had his own consulting company named the Sheyco Group. It dealt with data and statistics and would summarize same to make sense for clients. Earlier, he and Christopher Crawford of the Marine Corps had formed an outfit called Sports Concie that specialized in “corporate solutions.” And prior to that he had worked for a Trucking company.

So where will David Feherty go from here? Will Feherty become a victim? Although he has immediately and thoughtfully asked that donations be made to the Center for Addiction and Recovery Studies in Dallas, Texas, he will have, now that the funeral is over, the aftermath and, no pun intended, downtime. It would be expected and understandable for him to step back from the limelight, perhaps to draw nearer to his 4 surviving kids. No doubt, unwittingly or otherwise, some harsh self-judgment and guilt will inflict themselves upon the eminently affable Feherty.

This would be a shame because, despite his tender age, Shey was an adult and was responsible for his own actions. Parents, no matter how well meaning and caring, and well off, can only do so much...It’s also sad that Shey couldn’t have learned more from his father’s willingness to take certain drugs to stem his mental afflictions. At one point Feherty admits he was taking 14 pills per day to help ward off his demons. (He also says that the act of playing golf, because it takes up so much time (especially for us average players) - is a great aid in solving the problem of too much spare time on one’s hands – time to get into trouble with intoxicants.

One never knows with life. It’s too short, with opportunities missed and advantages wasted – and these are but a few sad characteristics prevalent that are far too prevalent for many of us – who don’t suffer from addictions. We - all of us - are usually our own worst enemy. Most of our faults can be laid at our own doorstep. We’re so ashamed, or so proud, we don’t seek help. And again

- many of us -
​
need to “grow up” despite our having crossed the threshold of the 30’s decades ago. More than a few of us keep repeating the same old, same old, mistakes over and over - and over - again...to what end? Then, to add drugs or alcohol into this? Geez, No wonder so many of us, like Shey Feherty, depart far too early.

​Will Chris Froome three-peat this 2017 Tour de France? And is Le Tour still one of the most essential sporting events worldwide, or has it slipped - because of sleazy drugs and slimy cheating - to a b-list happening?

Anyway, down the road, the future of supreme bike road racing may belong to another Britisher, Adam Yates. The guy won the white jersey – defined as the best placed finisher under the age of 26 - in the 2016 TDF. He placed 4th when all was said and done.

But the future is now, and if the 2016 Tour de France was any indication - with Froome front and centre in debate and in anticipation of success - or failure – in this 2017 edition, at least 100 channels will air it to at least 190 countries to be watched by 3 BILLION.

(By the way, in stage 1 of this 2017 Tour, Chris came 6th, and he has happily announced he's signed on for 3 more years with Team Sky.) 

Despite Chris's latest results and news, undoubtedly these TDF numbers would be higher but the stench of Lance Armstrong’s chicanery looms over every facet of the bicycling endurance race and Froome’s Team Sky and British Cycling being investigated by UK Anti-Doping sure hasn’t helped...

Nevertheless, between 10 to 12 million spectators, if not scaring the daylights out of the riders by jumping onto the route waving their arms wildly, will, for sure, loom over the route and press against the edges.

But is La Grande Boucle as edgy, unpredictable, and pressure packed as riders and fans tout? Sure crashes erupt helter skelter, but a glance at previous winners shows, often, repeat, consecutive wins. If it was as iffy and chancy as proponents aver and was truly competitive, would not more individuals have won - with individual cycling dynasties a rarity rather than commonplace?
​
Of course many will retort that cream always rises to the top and that past greats like Indurain, Hinault, Merckx, LeMond, and Froome rose to their natural, expected, excellent level, predictability be damned.

For sure, there’s pressure to piss. Sitting and straining for hours per day, with only 2 days rest over the 21 stages, means riders have to “go” and like “now.” Some pull over en masse to do the deed; others fiddle with their shorts to do it whilst upon the bike! Amazing, that.

Even as amazing is that it is illegal to urinate in a stream or river. Stick to the tree and try to let the riders behind you know that, so they don’t shamelessly pass you by.

Most amazing still, Mark Cavendish admits to pissing himself if the weather is chilly.

For sure, while youngsters adulate these cycling cyborgs, they should know life as a professional bicycle road racer isn’t all peaches and cream. For starters, the starting pay of £35,000 or $45,150 USD - isn’t that great. And life on the road, racing and travelling to races, sounds somewhat monotonous and definitely irksome. You’re not with loving family and best friends, you’re with teammates - some likeable, some loathsome.

But The Tour de France isn’t all agony. Sure this year’s edition promises a climb as steep as sin to La Planche des Belles Filles, but when not huffing and puffing upwards, the peloton will find its members either daydreaming or casually chatting to fellow rivals, talking about Paris, or talking about future events on their racing calendars.

Alas, however, for 3 weeks the casual fan tuning in will, if the TV is mute, be hard pressed to recognize a particular rider, any rider, save for their faves in winning jerseys. Basically, helmets have removed any chance of easy facial recognition. Indeed, apart from stage-winning jersey wearers, the only standout from the crowd might be Alex Howes – because he wears funky sunglasses.

Howes et al will begin the Great Loop in Düsseldorf, Germany, with a did-you-see-that-blur–whizz-by 14 kilometer individual time trial.

But let’s put the brakes, right now, on one trend, shall we? We know the cyclists in the 2017 Tour de France, to a man, will be in awesome shape. But to the casual ballsy beau mansplaying at home, don’t imitate the professionals and don Lycra when you get off the couch to pedal and peddle your wears and wares about town. You’re chubby in all the wrong places and you’re contributing to blight and visual pollution. The Lycra look, for you, is not good. Scrap the spandex and stop MAMIL’s (Middle-Aged Men in Lycra.)

Where were we?

Yes, Froome, the favorite, going for his 4th win in 5 years. This Nairobi born road racer certainly thrives in the suffering of training and racing. He might even admit, to himself at least, that he enjoys it. After all, roads in Kenya, whilst adequate for marathoners, were hardly conducive to a kid dreaming of elite cycling. Conditions there were, to be generous, Spartan – But Chris had no complaints...

To copy the feel of alpine climbing where such terrain didn’t exist Chris would pull his breaks to create the necessary struggle and resistance...He admits in his early days (around 2006 by this point) his technique was terrible “crash Froome” - but he had “an engine” - an engine later stricken with Bilharzia, a parasitic disease harmful to red blood cells – the means to transport oxygen.

He also admits his first TDF back in 2008 was a huge learning experience with the speed seemingly 10 kilometers per hour faster than any race he had been in previously. He was 1 of 4 riders for his 9-man team, to finish. In the 2012 Tour de France he had to take a back seat to teammate Bradley Wiggins, causing some discomfort for himself, Wiggins, and the team. In the 2014 race he pranged up his left knee, left wrist...right thigh, leaving the contest prematurely. He had to fight suspicions of doping...

And just this year, in May, he was deliberately knocked off his bike in a hit and run: the bike was mashed, but Chris was unhurt. (The road rage driver remains at large.)

But, and this is a big but, until finishing 4th in June’s Critérium du Dauphiné, he hadn’t raced competitively since April, and his running of his own schedule has undoubtedly caused  Team Sky some consternation.
​
Thus, come this July, the world will watch and wonder again if Chris will be the best bet overall in climbing, descending, time-trialing, and cross wind cycling – blessed with a, oh my, peak oxygen uptake twice that of normal humans - enabling him to hit the breathtaking heights of yet another Tour de France win.
 

​Can Jason Dufner, The Duf, win the 2017 U.S Open at the Erin Hills GC in Wisconsin? This laid back man, who looks kinda like the Tasmanian devil with Teddy bear thrown in, is hot, having won the Memorial a couple of weeks back. Now ranked 27th worldwide, Dufner won't feel as much pressure, having won a Major, the PGA Championship in 2013, as will the United States Golf Association, with that body's reputation on the line to tweak Erin Hills as playable, not lamentable, for the pros. The USGA wants the winner to be around par. Golf Digest ranks this venue as the 2nd best of the more than 500 golf courses in that state, behind Whistling Straits.
 
Anyway, if the putting surfaces are as atrocious as the "fine fescue" grasses were at Chambers Bay, back in 2015, all the competitors will ape Justin’s Dufnering (more on that momentarily) - while the USGA crawls into a hole - no matter how great these Erin Hills bentgrass greens are purported to be.
 
Gotta love Duf Daddy because he doesn't put on airs. He gives us ordinary blokes hope. He proves that dedication to his craft (despite his common-man physique) can make a beginner who struggled on the tour, taking nine long years to break into the top 100 golfers in the world - a winner. He's a poor man's John Daly - and like John he's been rumored with life problems of the wife. Specifically, according to the National Enquirer – who scooped the slimy pol, John Edwards and extra-marital squeeze Rielle Hunter, “love child” tawdriness - the Dufner was said to have been part of a not-at-the-same-time sexual tryst between him, ex-wife Amanda, and some guy named Tiger Woods - with Lindsey Vonn an unplayable lie at the time.
 
Sex games and machinations aside, will Erin Hills, just 45 minutes north-west of Milwaukee, suit Jason’s game and deliberations for this 117th edition of the U.S Open? Mike Davis, USGA Executive Director, given the botched job at Chambers Bay, swings for the fences, declaring that this golf course is “...worthy of identifying the game’s very best.”
 
So there.
 
And given that Dufner is at his best right now...he might be able to survive the 608 yard, par 5, 1st hole and the 613 yarder, 14th. Dufner, however, off the tee is ranked around 99th at 290.0 yards. Dustin Johnson, whom Bodog has odds on as winning (compared to its ranking of Jason as 22nd best chance) leads driving length at 319 big ones. Dufner’s putting is even more average. He candidly confesses "I've been putting bad for 17 years...” This week he ranks 112th. So how could he possibly win this U.S Open? His play from the fairways is better, ranking 46th, but his compact, torso-based swing is consistent. Indeed for a man with a soft round belly - when he isn't a Thinny Minnie - and with a physique and musculature, no matter his overall weight, resembling a Sunday duffer, it's amazing the guy plays as well as he does - and it's astounding his torso is running the swing. Heck, he set a 36-hole record in winning Jack Nicklaus's tournament.
 
To continue, there are lots of sand traps, pot bunkerish - which will test Dufner and his 157th sand save ranking - and others who will find themselves sometimes hitting out sideways or backwards – there is lots of fescue grass between tee to greens, fringing the latter, and alongside - and surrounding - fairways to boot.  The course may be relatively new but its foundations of rolling hills were formed by glaciers 10 thousand years ago. And, for the past 7 years, 1,815 tons of sand have been used as top dressing on the 40 acres of fairways...

This links public course features lots of wind. Great ball striking is a must. Dufner, with his cute pre-shot waggles, has that attribute, epitomized by wondrous wedge play. Undoubtedly assistant superintendents Alex Beson-Crone and Adam Ayers and 1 of 3 course architects, Dana Fry, are engagingly concerned – and have been since 2010 when they were awarded the 2017 date, with getting the place “just so.”

For what it’s worth Eric Steimer, Championship Manager, for the 2017 U.S. Open calls it a tremendous property. The USGA believes in the site – lionizing it as a field of dreams...For many players it will be their first time playing this course. For the 35,000 fans following the pros over the 8-mile long course, it will be their first time seeing their stars live. For the 135 million pumped into the local region, it will be their economy on the gravy train. For us watching on TV, it will be panoramic vistas coupled with minimalist design - combining to have the best handle, or mishandle the rough...

Back to Jason. During an interview on the Kelly & Michael show he brought out the Wanamaker PGA Trophy. (The top comes off – and it can hold, 47 beers.) He, of course was amiable, and forthright. When asked to comment on his putt, that if sunk, would have set an ALL-TIME golf record Majors’s score of 62, he called it the worst effort he made all week.

Which brings us to the ALL-TIME coolest move called Dufnering. Asked to explain how Dufnering came about Duf explained he had sat Indian style for 30 minutes, at J. Erik Jonsson Community School in Dallas in a charity appearance, mused that he had already been in the second grade, wondered to himself when this event was going to be over, wanted it to get done – for his body’s sake, and, before the session ended, while the teacher talked about relaxation, breathing, and how to get ready for tests, he sorta “checked out” and relaxed his sore frame via Dufnering, sitting legs straight out, arms draped at the sides, leaning against a wall. He smiled shyly, saying the Dufnering international craze “turned out good.” Dufnering, he added, wasn’t premeditated, wasn’t meant to be disrespectful, was a natural moment, but didn’t impress his then wife one bit – “...because she sees it all the time. Apparently I do it all the time.”
​
And Mr. Dufner, The War Eagle from Auburn University, with the Tasmanian devil face and teddy bear countenance, wins big tournaments some of the time. And if he doesn’t “check out” and does keep up with his new military-style breathing regimen to prevent batting and battling the ball around the green, who is to say he can’t become the next U.S. Open winner?

​Ingenuity meets insanity at the Summer X Games with every competitor an artist, acrobat, gymnast, and stuntman. As the X denotes – the very nature of their disciplines dictates they push boundaries to extremes. Or, as the X Games Twitter site proclaims: Spreading the shred in action sports since 1995.
​
For Baby Boomers who don’t understand what Generation X or Generation Y see in the Summer X Games stuff, don’t worry: your offspring – all 106 million of them, in 121 countries will, via TV, watch the 2017 Summer X Games coming from Minneapolis and explain same to you.

X Games competitors and wannabees, however, sandwich some wonderful traits between the crusty edges of inventiveness and craziness. For example, in skateboarding kids looked to Tony Hawk’s and Mark Gonzales’s tricks, styles, and mannerisms. They’d try to emulate Tony Hawk’s 900. (But they’d better be prepared for a lot of persistence before meeting excellence. It took Tony Hawk “The Birdman” his 12th time to final successfully land the 900.) They’d try to copy the Gonz’s shoes. They’d assimilate and incorporate the masters’ moves into their routines. They’d extrapolate, synthesize, re-evaluate and - through these processes - come up with new stunts.

Alas, nowadays, given today’s stiff-as-a-board political correctness, they’d be accused of cultural appropriation to be sure, and possibly ageist appropriation too. Thus the X Games must be stopped! And all skateboarders younger than Hawk and Gonzales, who can be shown to have used elements of the former's in their skating – must undergo sensitivity training.

Ok, let’s forget such puerile politics for now (and hopefully for ever) and return to the virile characteristics of the X Games, generally.

Specifically, skateboarders are said to have been “shredding the vert ramp” Basically, they shred here, they shred there, indeed, the word shred has an even more altruistic purpose too, with the Shred Hate campaign to reduce bullying in American schools. Don’t know if bullying equals hate, and don’t know if 10 million kids are bullied each year in schools there, as the website page says, but their heart is in the right place even if their correlation and statistics are both a bit off...
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It should be said: the X Games doesn't test athletes for drugs. This is probably just as well, despite it pissing off the likes of the World Anti-Doping Agency. 90% of these competitors gotta be high on something, or a cocktail of somethings, to even contemplate the stunts they do, let alone put them into practice. Or they could be high on life. It happens.

But let’s taunt WADA with a certifiable, undeniable fact. Didn’t Pierre-Luc Gagnon “PLG” admit after a heavy night partying, that lots of water and a few Excedrin can get him back on the skateboard? So let us have WADA scrutinize PLG’s NOLLIE HEELFLIP VARIAL INDY 540, why don’t we? Or have that body inspect Kevin Robinson’s pulling a Double Flair back in 2006 or study his world record ramp-to-ramp 84-foot backflip at the age of 44.
 
Actually the X Games and its athletes should be examined, not for foreign substances, but for unworldly creativity. For instance, who thought that some competitors would run their bikes brakeless? Moreover, have hockey, baseball, football, or basketball come up with any radical new wrinkles in the past few years?

Extreme sports has, at its core, the seed of imagination wherein whatever happened before can be grown upon, spreading a canopy of daredevilish deeds, more bold and brassy and outlandishly outrageous than ever before. Its trunk has rings, not of ages, but of new ways of doing things on skateboards, bikes, and motorcycles. (And gotta love the names for tricks, though we conventional old fogie types would scoff and sneer at the seemingly endless plethora of over-the-top monikers such as the Topside No-footed CanCan; One-handed 540; Switch-blade flip; Flare Double Whip; Downside Tail Whip...)

Speaking of whip or whippersnappers, what should we say about 50-year old + BMX rider Dennis McCoy? Simply that he is his sport’s equivalent to hockey’s ageless Jaromir Jagr. Didn’t he, smooth and dialed in, pull a 900 at the ripe old age of 49?

And what about Bob? Remember skateboarder Bob Burnquist’s 98 score in ‘99? When he did at least 4 moves the commentators either had not seen, or did not think were possible? And for us largely unfamiliar to X Games and skateboarding, but totally familiar with Olympic greatness and gymnastics, say – let’s equate Bob’s stunning run that X Games, to a stunning routine of the best male gymnast in the world, Kohei Uchimura.

One must quickly look at the downside of this sporting genre. Injuries can be numerous and mind numbingly severe. Let's admit it, some watch X games events for the wipeout factor, as do Indy 500 fans watching car races for crashes. Travis Pastrana once suffered a dislocated spine...18 broken bones...and had 8 surgeries – at a minimum! Can’t forget Jake Brown’s fall from 45 feet up, can we, resulting in a broken wrist, broken vertebrae, a bruised lung and liver, a concussion - and a ruptured spleen?

“Best Trick” has been a great spectacle but at the cost of serious injuries. Heck, even watching promo videos of skateboarders – with no helmet or other padding - gives one the willies. Because they are so amazing they’ll take the risk of crumbling onto pavement, tumbling down stairs, and going ass-over-teakettle over railings. But mistakes do happen: ever seen the video of Chris Joslin flying over 20 steps or so, only to tumble and roll over his tail-bone hard?
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But pains and aches aside, it seems even these setbacks never stop each new X Games from getting better year after year, because every entrant knows the other will be bringing new and freaky-fabulous moves to the table. All will make this Summer X Games, coming up in Minneapolis this July, an extremely excellent exhibition of courage and character to view, where attitude meets amplitude, or put more simply – to be THE BEST SUMMER X GAMES YET.

​Laurel Hubbard had an unfair advantage because she used to be known as Gavin. It may seem crazy to talk of fairness and sports when the latter takes on a win at nearly all costs mantra, but when boys become girls and compete in sports with girls, who were born girls, is it fair? We’re obviously talking transgendered athletes.

A recent case is of the New Zealand weightlifter, Laurel Hubbard, who bested the second place finisher, in the clean and jerk, by 19 kg (41 pounds.) Zounds. How’d she do that at the Australian International weightlifting event? Could it be due to natural ability, better technical skills, superior coaching, and great dedication? Probably all these were factors but could the biggest factor be that Laurel used to be a man, Gavin – who competed in weightlifting prior to becoming Laurel in his/her/their mid-thirties? Men, generally, have more muscle mass and lung capacity, to name but two athletic advantages.

Look, it’s not the first time observers have been accused of being cold-hearted or hard headed. Remember Tom Dempsey, field goal kicker for the Saints? When he kicked a 63-yarder many felt his right-foot boot gave him an unfair advantage; it had a flat, larger surface. True, he only wore this one-of-a-kind boot because he had no toes on that foot, but still, even a handicap turning out to be a perceived advantage, is fodder for analysis and angst. So boys transitioning to girls, who then participate in a sport they played as the prior gender, are going to be rightfully submitted to Monday morning arm chair quarterbacking as well.

Gotta deadname for a minute. Don’t know what deadnaming is? Well, it’s almost a crime according to politically correct types. And I’m about to commit it by referring to the long gone, Bruce Jenner, 1976 Olympics gold medal winner in the decathlete. Now, Bruce (oops I did it again) is now Caitlyn – because she’s a she who used to be a he. NEVER say Bruce when referring to Caitlyn.

Anyway, – ok, if Caitlyn was as good as she was when she was a he, the best in the world back in ’76 – what’s she going to do competing against girls in any of these ten disciplines? She’d murdelized them, especially so because ladies only compete in the 7-event Heptathlon...but you get the point...

Gender identity is all the rage right now. It’s a target from all sides of the political spectrum. Sports aren’t immune – but there are 2 possible solutions to the controversy of having boys now girls, matching up and beating the pants off girls, who were originally girls. The first answer, speaking of target – is to follow the retailer Target’s approach to gender: let any gender identity use any facility, and participate in any forum, at any time. Thus boys, girls, and transgender athletes would compete against each other at any time. That way, the possible advantages that transgender boys to girls would be negated, because the boys-remaining-boys would, in many sports, have it over the transgendered. True, the girls would still be getting screwed over, but one can’t have everything – at least with this approach.

The second approach would ensure that no gender has an advantage over another. Let’s call it the Facebook approach. That social media platform, in the UK, lists 71 genders. Instead of lumping all genders together like Target does, it separates them. So! Let’s have sports competitions carefully separated and segregated by gender! True, it will be a logistical, bureaucratic, and financial nightmare, but it is the only way to make sure no gender is cheated out of their just desserts.

Actually the second approach, in its complexities, may not be that tough a row to hoe. Consider how far science and understanding have come in determining who is a man, or a woman, or a somewhat in betweener. And this relates to Laurel Hubbard and others who have transitioned. She can compete in the Olympics.

Furthermore, and this relates to some who are transitioning - but have not yet had body parts changed “sex reassignment surgery” - The International Olympic Committee has weighed in on matters-trans and has decided that the best way to determine whether he is a he, or a she, or she is a she, or a he – is NOT to sneak a peek under their underwear-unmentionables at body parts, but is, rather, to conduct hormonal tests to determine if requisite minimums or maximums of this or that hormone make one a guy, gal, or trans. (Best to stick with 3 gender types rather than delve into another 68 or so, huh?)

Because the IOC is a busy-body bureaucratic organization run by cads in the worse sense of the word, and because gender matters are as complicated as all of this world, the language they use is inscrutable to the layman, epitomized by this summarial declaration of the: "Consensus Meeting on Sex Reassignment and Hyperandrogenism" - so we will have to trust this group with the hugest leap of faith ever known to sport or mankind, in figuring that they know what they are doing.

.6% or 1.4 million. These are the estimated percentage and count of trans adult people in America. For simplicity’ sake, assume the percentage holds for the world at large. Given that the 1.4 million, according to the New York Times, is quite a bit bigger than previously thought, it’s safe to say that more MTF athletes will be faced with accusations of new medically manufactured athletic advantages. For FTM athletes: less so.

​Way to go, John Daly. With your latest golf victory you’ve proven that a serious serial smoker, boozing passer-outer at Hooters, junk food jonser, zooming through multiple red lights in-a-row driver, and and a fanatic despiser of fitness - can reach the top.

You’re a role model to zillions.

In winning the Insperity Invitational on the Champions Tour you’ve inspired millions, ok, thousands, ok hundreds, ok tens of folks to consider watching your career progress, despite you wearing lewd, crude, and goodness gracious god-awful-retina-razing outlandish golf slacks.

Clearly a man-god surpassing mortal men was proven when, on Saturday in August of 2015, one of your lungs collapsed, you were sped to the hospital, but the next day, like a Phoenix, you returned to play out the tournament in Canton, Miss.  

And clearly a Zeus are you – who else has had as many scintillating sexual escapades, including having four wives – and is considering marrying yet again? And clearly, too, you are a criminal-cad for assaulting wife number 2, Bettye Fulford.

Basically John’s a portly huffing and puffing, 40 butts per day, 50-year old senior, who, with his first win, 14-under, on the seniors’ tour, has awoken legions to that tour’s existence and re-awoken a horde of fans to his legendary high-wire act of cavorting and careening through life. Fellow professional friends of his were so pleased for him they showered the big man in champagne after being the best on The Woodlands, in Texas.

He’s come a long way - and yet has come full circle. Back in 1978, as a 12-year old, he won the Lake of the Woods Golf Course Men’s championship prompting that course to ban kids from entering that adult contest ever again.
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Not sure if he needs the $322,500 cheque from his latest heroics but let’s assume he does. John admits he still gambles. He loves the slots. He’s even played a slot machine which was $5,000 for each pull. (John says he lost $600,000 in that session.) That’s his gambling vice of choice, though blackjack comes into play. While Vegas may be the destination for most, John says he’s not fussy: he’ll gamble anywhere...He might not be losing hundreds of thousands per year, but if he’s still rolling the dice as it were, he’s got to be losing a fairly pretty penny, though he says he won 1.8 million at Bally’s - in one day - a few years back.

So how did Daly fight the long odds against his winning again? Well, none other than Tiger Woods gives us the scoop. “Long John”, it turns out, was - is - awash in raw, natural talent proven by winning his first Major, the US PGA, in his first try.

Folks adore the “Wild Thing” because of his vulnerabilities and frank willingness to confess and somewhat confront his addictions. They also adore his counter-intuitive thoughts, like this beauty, expressed in an interview with Howard Stern a couple of years back: practicing causes imperfection when I do it...I suck when I practice.

He’s been fighting the practicing of golf thing since he was around 4-years old. He admits, like Bubba Watson, that he’s his own teacher – save for studying Jack Nicklaus golfing tip cartoons. The “Lion” says his toddler, a two and a half year old son back in 2015, has hit more practice golf balls in his life than Dad has in his. Gotta, sorta, love this guy, huh? John also jokes “Caffeine and nicotine, to me, equal protein.”

More insights in the Stern interview ensued. Talking about one of his wives, John came up with this gem: “We love each other just a little bit more than we hate each other...” His second wife lied about her age – understating it by 10 years. He says that cocaine and cigarettes are the two hardest things to quit. He asked Howard Stern if he could smoke during their interview. Howard also offered him a beer, John didn’t say no...He was given a Heineken Light, took a big slug, and announced “this isn’t bad.” He says 18 shots of scotch ended up being the impetus behind the invention of 18 holes of golf.

And who else can sink a 10 footer curving putt with a cigarette hanging from his mouth?

And who else may be as smart as Daly, if his dad is any indication? (Smartness isn’t the same thing as common sense, obviously.) One source writes his father, Jim, built and repaired nuclear power facilities.
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Yet as we marvel at John’s highs and lows - heck he’s had more ups and downs than an Xpogo stunt team, has been his own worst enemy, seems consumed by his bad lifestyle habits, and apparently appears to be a train wreck just waiting to happen - does demonstrate in spades - that these traits are SO NOT marvelous - if we, looking for guidance, are wishing to emulate star-shown characteristics. But now he has kids, and, as we age, we tend to moderate our lifestyles – so maybe these two factors, plus his latest win, can put John in a sturdier station of life leading to a somewhat normal, sane...semblance of...uh, something or other.

It’s kinda fun and a total eye-opener to read and see of John’s over-the-top idiosyncrasies, proclivities, and inanities. Even his mixed messages real, and imagined, are pretty amusing. He has been commercially associated with both TrimSpa and Dunkin’ Donuts and has ventured that such a contradiction isn’t nearly so profound as his proffered idea of publicizing AA on one hand, and Miller Lite on the other.

And we can howl in laughter at this pearl. Asked about where he finds his wives and women, he ripostes he didn’t find his wives in church. Gotta say again - gotta - sorta - love this guy. Sure hope he can keep it sort of together, maybe to write another book as a continuance to the 2007 tome titled:

My Life in and out of the Rough: The Truth Behind All That Bull**** You Think You Know About Me.
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We’d sure like to find out in new, pen-to-paper pages, what else this larger-than-life fellow could prove to the world.

Wladimir Klitschko, please hang up the gloves. You’ve had a brilliant-bestest boxing career but at 41 years of age, with 2 losses in a row, it’s time to take stock. You’ve earned the respect of the boxing world, by your going unbeaten for 8 years, by your formidable lead hand jab, and by your cerebral, sensible no-unnecessary-risk approach in the ring.

You’ve also got a PHD in Sports Science so there’s a career, you’ve got your foundation “bringing dreams to life” that could probably use your full time attention – and you speak Ukrainian, Russian, German, and English and all those societies would sure love the likes of you with your good works and vast potential outside of boxing to boost their collective consciousness from decency to excellence.

Geez, even if the above avenues don’t appeal you could go down the slimy road of politics. Isn’t brother Vitali mayor of Kiev?

Anyway, Wladimir, AKA Dr. Steelhammer, be proud you’ve held the: International Boxing Organization World Heavyweight, WBA Super World Heavyweight, IBF World Heavyweight and the WBO World Heavyweight titles. Although no sane, rational person has been able to keep up with why heavyweight boxing had to have its belt-title-organization multiply bifurcate – to be top dog with these groups, is impressive.

You, Volodymyr Volodymyrovych Klychko even after losing in the 11th round before approximately 90,000 Wembley boxing fans – the biggest gate there, in London, England - in 8 DECADES - to Anthony Joshua, stand tall, even taller than your 6’6”. You, literally and metaphorically, fought the good fight against this 27-year-old IBF World Heavyweight champion opponent and you didn’t, for the most part, fight tomato cans while retaining your title(s).

But against Anthony you hit the deck, the canvas, 3 times. True, you knocked him off his feet, hitting his chin for an 8-count - for the first time in his 19-pro-fight career (with Anthony’s trainer Rob McCracken thinking his man was a goner) but YOU going down repeatedly has to tell you – despite the contractual right to a rematch against Joshua, to not exercise that provision - and to spend the rest of your life exercising, where the chances of you facing and sustaining brain injury is nil. Remember this fight as a losing effort – but you gave it your all. In your previous fight, a loss to Tyson Fury, you only landed 52 of 231 punches thrown - a 23% clip.

What counts for more than your 2 losses in a row, however, is that you are still – for any age – a man in excellent physical condition. Put it simply, you’re jacked. Congratulations. Most of us start losing tone from 20 on – and you’ve proven to millions that one can keep superb physical form and looks into their forties. Well done.

And kudos for your supreme, classy act, after the loss, via Twitter. You tweeted respect and congratulations to the victor. You’re a gentleman. None other than Oscar De La Hoya tweeted that Klitschko “...will always be a great champion.” Lennox Lewis and Sugar Ray Leonard also tweeted compliments. The world needs more - via the speaking circuit, perhaps - to learn of your winning habits.  

You are capable of introspection. We could, individually and collectively, all use a healthy dollop of that. Your frank confession that Corrie Sanders cleaning your clock in a knockout in the second round back in 2003 made you analyze, from A to Z, your situation. You added that this drubbing made you a better fighter, and man - - - and the whole process was a tremendous lesson for your followers. To admit failure was remarkable – to shed insights into that that flopping was golden.

You are also capable of off-beat, counter intuitive views. Being born in Kazakhstan, conventional and national wisdom says you should deplore the comic Sacha Cohen whose movie, “Borat”- many from Kazakhstan feel - depicts its citizenry in a bad light. To laugh at one’s own perceived or real faults – is another nugget-example of knowledge from which your existing base, and potential world of followers, awaits more of, should you tell of your insights, full time...

Speaking of movies, perhaps you could use your footwork, network, and family experiences to be the subject of another movie. After all, recall, Sebastian Dehnhardt did direct you and Vitali in the, Romy 2012 best documentary winning flick: Klitschko – Fighters Legends Brothers.

(For us unfamiliar with the documentary you two brother pugilists were tracked and taped, for a couple of years, in travels through the Ukraine, The States, Germany, Canada, Austria, Switzerland and the good old, there’s no place like home, Kazakhstan.)

And rest assured Wladimir, the media lefties like your views. ESPN as an employer is not a far reach. Back in 2014 Boxing News said: “...Klitschko, is an articulate and magnanimous ambassador for his sport. He holds liberal political views, regards the lack of women in politics as scandalous and shames racists and homophobes all over the world.”

Wladimir, you’ve won a ton, 64 wins for those that are counting such things, and have, incredibly, won the hearts of detractors in the process of losing a few bouts. You’ve kept perspective, expanded boxing’s horizons deep into Europe and yet have kept your kin and karma simple and succinct in promising your mother (ok it was her wish-command) that you would never fight your brother professionally. You’ve done it all. With class.
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Take a bow, leave the ring now. And please ignore boxing promoter Eddie Hearn's spin that a rematch between you and Joshua is 50-50 proposition and please rebut potential pleas from your manager Bernd Boente to fight again.