You’re a role model to zillions.
In winning the Insperity Invitational on the Champions Tour you’ve inspired millions, ok, thousands, ok hundreds, ok tens of folks to consider watching your career progress, despite you wearing lewd, crude, and goodness gracious god-awful-retina-razing outlandish golf slacks.
Clearly a man-god surpassing mortal men was proven when, on Saturday in August of 2015, one of your lungs collapsed, you were sped to the hospital, but the next day, like a Phoenix, you returned to play out the tournament in Canton, Miss.
And clearly a Zeus are you – who else has had as many scintillating sexual escapades, including having four wives – and is considering marrying yet again? And clearly, too, you are a criminal-cad for assaulting wife number 2, Bettye Fulford.
Basically John’s a portly huffing and puffing, 40 butts per day, 50-year old senior, who, with his first win, 14-under, on the seniors’ tour, has awoken legions to that tour’s existence and re-awoken a horde of fans to his legendary high-wire act of cavorting and careening through life. Fellow professional friends of his were so pleased for him they showered the big man in champagne after being the best on The Woodlands, in Texas.
He’s come a long way - and yet has come full circle. Back in 1978, as a 12-year old, he won the Lake of the Woods Golf Course Men’s championship prompting that course to ban kids from entering that adult contest ever again.
Not sure if he needs the $322,500 cheque from his latest heroics but let’s assume he does. John admits he still gambles. He loves the slots. He’s even played a slot machine which was $5,000 for each pull. (John says he lost $600,000 in that session.) That’s his gambling vice of choice, though blackjack comes into play. While Vegas may be the destination for most, John says he’s not fussy: he’ll gamble anywhere...He might not be losing hundreds of thousands per year, but if he’s still rolling the dice as it were, he’s got to be losing a fairly pretty penny, though he says he won 1.8 million at Bally’s - in one day - a few years back.
So how did Daly fight the long odds against his winning again? Well, none other than Tiger Woods gives us the scoop. “Long John”, it turns out, was - is - awash in raw, natural talent proven by winning his first Major, the US PGA, in his first try.
Folks adore the “Wild Thing” because of his vulnerabilities and frank willingness to confess and somewhat confront his addictions. They also adore his counter-intuitive thoughts, like this beauty, expressed in an interview with Howard Stern a couple of years back: practicing causes imperfection when I do it...I suck when I practice.
He’s been fighting the practicing of golf thing since he was around 4-years old. He admits, like Bubba Watson, that he’s his own teacher – save for studying Jack Nicklaus golfing tip cartoons. The “Lion” says his toddler, a two and a half year old son back in 2015, has hit more practice golf balls in his life than Dad has in his. Gotta, sorta, love this guy, huh? John also jokes “Caffeine and nicotine, to me, equal protein.”
More insights in the Stern interview ensued. Talking about one of his wives, John came up with this gem: “We love each other just a little bit more than we hate each other...” His second wife lied about her age – understating it by 10 years. He says that cocaine and cigarettes are the two hardest things to quit. He asked Howard Stern if he could smoke during their interview. Howard also offered him a beer, John didn’t say no...He was given a Heineken Light, took a big slug, and announced “this isn’t bad.” He says 18 shots of scotch ended up being the impetus behind the invention of 18 holes of golf.
And who else can sink a 10 footer curving putt with a cigarette hanging from his mouth?
And who else may be as smart as Daly, if his dad is any indication? (Smartness isn’t the same thing as common sense, obviously.) One source writes his father, Jim, built and repaired nuclear power facilities.
Yet as we marvel at John’s highs and lows - heck he’s had more ups and downs than an Xpogo stunt team, has been his own worst enemy, seems consumed by his bad lifestyle habits, and apparently appears to be a train wreck just waiting to happen - does demonstrate in spades - that these traits are SO NOT marvelous - if we, looking for guidance, are wishing to emulate star-shown characteristics. But now he has kids, and, as we age, we tend to moderate our lifestyles – so maybe these two factors, plus his latest win, can put John in a sturdier station of life leading to a somewhat normal, sane...semblance of...uh, something or other.
It’s kinda fun and a total eye-opener to read and see of John’s over-the-top idiosyncrasies, proclivities, and inanities. Even his mixed messages real, and imagined, are pretty amusing. He has been commercially associated with both TrimSpa and Dunkin’ Donuts and has ventured that such a contradiction isn’t nearly so profound as his proffered idea of publicizing AA on one hand, and Miller Lite on the other.
And we can howl in laughter at this pearl. Asked about where he finds his wives and women, he ripostes he didn’t find his wives in church. Gotta say again - gotta - sorta - love this guy. Sure hope he can keep it sort of together, maybe to write another book as a continuance to the 2007 tome titled:
My Life in and out of the Rough: The Truth Behind All That Bull**** You Think You Know About Me.
We’d sure like to find out in new, pen-to-paper pages, what else this larger-than-life fellow could prove to the world.