Christina has two kids. Not sure what kind of example she’s setting for the small fry, being a self-admitted junk food eater, but the only reason anyone should give her more than a passing notice - a passing glance will be hard to avoid - is because of those kids. If she were childless, her pleas for please more government money – they call it “assistance” in the UK, should either fall on deaf ears or be treated as some kind of odd extortion/blackmail gambit.
Her argument can be boiled down to this: eating healthy food costs a lot. She has a point, eating stuff from health food stores does seem to cost more than supermarket vegetables and fruits (at least the last time I checked fifteen years ago when I bought some kind of bean salad with other indefinable ingredients and it cost me a couple of bucks more than I figured it should and would) but so what? Life ain't easy. And junk food, her main staple, is expensive. And it leaves you an addict. It’s murder, trying to refrain from eating a large bag of potato chips in one fell swoop or a two-liter carton of ice cream in one fell spoon. And all for feeling lousy and listless afterwards.
Of course we must have some sympathy with her buyer-beware purchasing philosophy. Many Brits will remember the horsemeat “horsegate” scandal of a couple of years back when it was discovered processed foods being advertised as ‘containing’ beef were actually containing 100% horsemeat. The government is being urged to form a new food-crime unit.
Meanwhile, 5’7” Christina, who gets 20,000 pounds a year from the government – and lives in something called a council house (social housing) – and spends 300 pounds monthly on junk food, her faves being crisps and chocolate, says she can’t afford a gym.
So take a hike. Walk.
Take a kid. Heck, take two. Double your fun.
At her 25-stone size (159 kilos, 351 pounds) walking will be about the only exercise safe and doable for her. Now, walking isn’t a sexy quick fix. But it is inexpensive if one avoids the temptation to buy NBA brand named sneakers, and picks instead a basic shoe from Wal-Mart (ASDA) that costs around $20 dollars. Perhaps, living in Wigan, a town between Liverpool and Manchester, she can amble, knowing that the temperatures don’t get too hot in the summertime – around 20 degrees Celsius – or too cold in the winter – around 3 degrees. But carry an umbrella, Christina, because it does rain, on average, around 17 days every month.
If she’s unfamiliar with the best places to walk, here are some Wigan walking routes.
Granted, it’s highly unlikely she has time to read, what with two kids, and it is, unfortunately, even more unlikely she’ll take steps to personally address her sorry state, but nobody can say we didn't try to help.
If we take this one step further, assuming paying Ms. Briggs money for being big is the right thing to do, does that mean that the other 64% of Englishmen and women deemed overweight or obese should get pounds for their pounds?
Basically, society should not fork over cash so she can change what she forks with. She’s a, no pun intended, big girl. She can look after herself.
One must, however, give her kudos for getting her story out to the press. If one wants to beg and glom handouts from the state, get the media to grease the skids. Enterprising, that.
Given that she’s publicizing her situation, she’s asking for feedback. In this picture from the Daily Mail, her hair is a strikingly off-the-beaten-track orangey color. Maybe she could save some money, leaving her hair in its au naturel state.
She, naturally, with her quest to get taxpayer dough for every pound she loses, has a unique alms ploy. But what about this play? Apparently her son and daughter have different dads. Maybe they can help pay for the kids, or take the kids off her hands.
And what is it anyway with British blobs and their deep seated deep-dish desire to have others pay to change their lives? Have you heard of Paul Mason? He’s the guy who, back in 2011, lost 40 stone, or 560 pounds. But he felt hard-pressed. He wanted, therefore, fellow citizens to pitch in so he could get a doctor to shed his excess skin.
Meet American, Rebecca Mountain. She digs Paul Mason. She and Paul set up a shed-the-skin-surgery online fundraising page, their target: 16,000 pounds. And that’s for drugs and travelling to the US where a doctor would surgically shed the seven stone of skin - for free, or for a song, or for publicity, one might suppose. (A Dr. Jennifer Capla has met with Paul.)
Paul, however, forgot to tell the USA authorities about a 1986 fraud conviction. So Homeland Security is holding up his medical visa.
Let’s end with Christina’s vista, decrepit though it is. Then let’s, in the karma-spirit of Christina, go out and stuff ourselves with buffets at every hotel on the Las Vegas strip and stick our unloved co-worker, neighbor, semi-friend or successful sibling with the bills.
‘I just get enough money to live on - the taxpayers should help fund my diet.’