Here are Pete’s thoughts, shortened a bit:
“Team USA have only won five of the last 16 Ryder Cups...For the Americans to stand a chance of winning, they need their baying mob of imbeciles to caress their egos every step of the way. Like one of those brainless bastards from your childhood, the one that pulled down your shorts during the school’s Christmas assembly...a giggling group of reprobates...[Europe] - They need to silence the pudgy, basement-dwelling, irritants, stuffed on cookie dough and pissy beer, pausing between mouthfuls of hotdog so they can scream ‘Baba booey’ until their jelly faces turn red. They need to stun the angry, unwashed, Make America Great Again swarm, desperately gripping their concealed-carry compensators and belting out a mini-erection inducing ‘mashed potato,’ hoping to impress their cousin. They need to smash the obnoxious dads, with their shiny teeth, Lego man hair, medicated ex-wives, and resentful children. Squeezed into their cargo shorts and boating shoes, they’ll bellow ‘get in the hole’ whilst high-fiving all the other members of the Dentists’ Big Game Hunt Society.”
Phew, thank you, Sir, for reminding us the British are still peeved at post WW2 USA power and prestige, and thank you, Sir, for reminding us that sibling rivalry still peeves, pre-and-post all wars.
I have never attended a Ryder Cup. So I haven’t seen or heard the worst of the worst (or the best of the best, depending on your point of view.) But I have never attended a soccer match either, but global media splays English fans (Yobs) as crude in display – and that’s just leaving Britain. When they land in Europe, well, from what witnesses say, we’re talking WW3.
Simply, all countries have boors – for us Canucks, some might remember Alan Eagleson’s finger to mother Russia in the 1972 hockey duel.
Moral equivocations aside let’s deride, in no particular order, Saint Peter’s pontifications.
Accusation: Pissy Beer. Answer: Beats room temperature British beer.
Accusation: Cookie Dough. Answer: A pale replica of the Scottish diet Trifecta. The Macaroni Pie, Munchy Box, and Square Sausage.
Accusation: For the Americans to stand a chance of winning...Answer: The Yanks had better ensure, first, that Britain (Europe didn’t join into the Ryder Cup until 1979) come out alive - first - by, uh, lending a hand to beat the Nazis in WW2, allowing the Ryder Cup that started in 1927 and ran up to 1937, to continue after the war - saving Peter from having German as his first language - though funnily enough Peter seems, in language-loathing of the “Other”, a wee bit Nazi-like, doesn’t he?
Accusation: Baying mob of imbeciles. Answer: Can’t answer – as a dumb Canuck I didn’t even know baying was a word. But I have heard tell of the word "imbeciles" – and so far as I can reckon the new definition of imbeciles is: the media, academic, and political “elites” in the United Kingdom who thought Brexit would never happen.
Accusation: ...the one that pulled down your shorts during the school’s Christmas assembly...Answer: I took this slightly out of context; in its entirety, it doesn’t improve - so bear with me when I respond with the FACTS that: the Britain’s Rotherham Sex Scandal of some 16 years had not only the shorts and skirts down of young girls, it left the skirts and shorts - and pants - down of British political and police officials - who allowed this filth to start – and thrive – and all because of political correctness and because of a mindset to ignore complaints - because five perpetrators found guilty were, ahem, from the Religion of Peace.
Accusation: “They need to stun the angry, unwashed, Make America Great Again swarm, desperately gripping their concealed-carry compensators and belting out a mini-erection inducing ‘mashed potato,’ hoping to impress their cousin.” Answer: it is powerful writing. But uh, unfortunately, Pete has used a colloquialism that many on this side of the Atlantic might not understand (i.e. WTF ‘mashed potato?) Now, true, American rockabilly star, Jerry Lee Lewis was so impressed by his cousin, he married her. But that was decades ago, and his career suffered badly because of it. Now compare that to today’s problem in Britain of many - again from the Religion of Peace - marrying their cousins - with many kids there, therefore, suffering from genetic illnesses...
Accusation: obnoxious dads, with their shiny teeth...Answer: Is this the time to insert the depiction, thanks to Austin Powers, of British dads, and their gorgeous teeth?
Hey, we can forgive Pete his rant. And we can admire the man for not standing down. In fact he doubled down. Pete tweets: He means every word. Good for him. His observations have some humor, some sanity, a lot of ludicrousness, and some prose - some might suppose.
And you know what? With one fan taunting “suck a d---” to McIlroy – perhaps some of Pete’s points are, if not worthy of fulsome debate, at least worthy of pondering. (And Pete could add how Phil Mickelson noted that Scottish fans treated the leftie wonderfully at the 2014 Ryder Cup, in Scotland. For his part, Rory said 95% of the American fans in Minnesota were fantastic)
As for Danny? Well after going pointless in this 2016, and after taking in the audience ambiance-antics, he now says some fans proved his brother was, in fact, correct.